Liz Hoggard: Clothes maketh the man

Men are notoriously private about the content of their trousers, the notch they fasten their belt

Share
Related Topics

Last weekend I was in the Uffizi in Florence, gazing at a copy of Michelangelo's David. This, I thought, is the naked form that launched so many male anxieties: David, a marble masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture, is wildly anatomically incorrect. The head, upper body and hands are larger than the proportions of the lower body (in real life he would fall over). The sculpture was designed so that it would appear correct when viewed from below.

It's reassuring that back in the 16th century airbrushed images of the body beautiful were dreamt up to haunt average-size men. Even today the male body is still very much a taboo subject. Women live daily with their imperfections (too fat, too thin, too womanly); the male body is venerated and protected. Acres of female breast and thigh are splashed across our media; the erection is considered too dangerous for our TV screens. Women endure the indignity of mixed changing rooms in many high-street stores; men have separate cubicles to protect their modesty.

Which is why the scandal enveloping Ede & Ravenscroft, the Savile Row tailor whose clients include Prince Charles, David Cameron and Boris Johnson, is so delicious. Someone has stolen confidential information about its clients (including "intimate measurements"), and it's rumoured to be an inside job. No wonder it's a scandal: men are notoriously private about the content of their trousers, their neck size, the notch they use to fasten their belt. In contrast, the female body is open season – everything from our bra size to our love of control pants is eagerly discussed. Red carpet savagery prevails. Female columnists queue up to confess they are wearing (whisper it) a size 14 dress, not a 12. But we are remarkably, frustratingly, short of information about the male torso. Men perpetuate the fantasy that no effort goes into their look. They are natural, unadorned, while we girls are the silly narcissists.

Women are therefore grateful for any clues that prove otherwise. When I worked on the shopfloor at the menswear shop, Blazer, back in the late Eighties, I was fascinated by male dress etiquette. A man would confidently select a pair of size 28 waist trousers and ask me to have it let out three inches on either side. "But why don't you buy a size 34?" I'd ask, puzzled. "Because I'm a size 28," he'd explain patiently. I couldn't help envying the way male vanity is protected.

But then in the discreet world of bespoke tailoring, nothing is more valued than the relationship between the customer and his tailor. Anyone revealing data about knock knees or fat thighs would be excommunicated. Certainly the golden mile of tailoring shook when the late Alexander McQueen revealed he had once sewed "I am a c***" into the lining of a jacket for Prince Charles – as a gesture against the establishment.

But the Ede & Ravenscroft espionage case is gripping for rather more important reasons. The tailoring firm holds three Royal Warrants and has made robes since the 1690s for monarchs, peers, judges and even the "uniform" for members of Oxford's Bullingdon, the notorious Oxford dining club where Cameron and Johnson (and George Osborne) were members. No wonder they're worried: a man's sartorial peccadillos can be very revealing.

Watching Laura Wade's brilliant play Posh at the Royal Court, about Oxford's Riot Club (a thinly veiled version of the Bullingdon Club), you're appalled by the violence and the machismo as they smash up the gastro pub, the casual hatred of the proles. But also by the silly bloody outfits they insist on wearing. The wigs and breeches and ornamental sabres. It's worse than the Masons. Consisting of a traditional tailcoat, a mustard waistcoat and a blue bow tie, the Bullingdon garb, lovingly fashioned by Ede & Ravenscroft, doesn't come cheap at £3,000. It is also designed to exclude the non-elect, the grubby commoners like you and me.

Do David and George and Boris still have such outlandish tackle in their wardrobes? I think we deserve to know.

lizhoggard@hotmail.com

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: HR Generalist - 2 week contract - £200pd - Immediate start

£200 per day: Ashdown Group: Working within a business that has a high number ...

Austen Lloyd: Private Client Solicitor - Oxford

Excellent Salary : Austen Lloyd: OXFORD - REGIONAL FIRM - An excellent opportu...

Recruitment Genius: Business / Operations Manager

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This well-established and growi...

Recruitment Genius: Marketing Executive - Major Sporting Venue

£29500 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an excellent opportunit...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Douglas Carswell (L) and Mark Reckless (R) - two new fresh and exciting faces in Parliament...?  

The depressing reality of white male supremacy in the UK has just been mapped out

Mollie Goodfellow
 

Daily catch-up: Old London Bridge; how to fight UKIP; and wolves

John Rentoul
In a world of Saudi bullying, right-wing Israeli ministers and the twilight of Obama, Iran is looking like a possible policeman of the Gulf

Iran is shifting from pariah to possible future policeman of the Gulf

Robert Fisk on our crisis with Iran
The young are the new poor: A third of young people pushed into poverty

The young are the new poor

Sharp increase in the number of under-25s living in poverty
Greens on the march: ‘We could be on the edge of something very big’

Greens on the march

‘We could be on the edge of something very big’
Revealed: the case against Bill Cosby - through the stories of his accusers

Revealed: the case against Bill Cosby

Through the stories of his accusers
Why are words like 'mongol' and 'mongoloid' still bandied about as insults?

The Meaning of Mongol

Why are the words 'mongol' and 'mongoloid' still bandied about as insults?
Mau Mau uprising: Kenyans still waiting for justice join class action over Britain's role in the emergency

Kenyans still waiting for justice over Mau Mau uprising

Thousands join class action over Britain's role in the emergency
Isis in Iraq: The trauma of the last six months has overwhelmed the remaining Christians in the country

The last Christians in Iraq

After 2,000 years, a community will try anything – including pretending to convert to Islam – to avoid losing everything, says Patrick Cockburn
Black Friday: Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Britain braced for Black Friday
Bill Cosby's persona goes from America's dad to date-rape drugs

From America's dad to date-rape drugs

Stories of Bill Cosby's alleged sexual assaults may have circulated widely in Hollywood, but they came as a shock to fans, says Rupert Cornwell
Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

As fans flock to see England women's Wembley debut against Germany, the TV presenter on an exciting 'sea change'
Oh come, all ye multi-faithful: The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?

Oh come, all ye multi-faithful

The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?
Dr Charles Heatley: The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

Dr Charles Heatley on joining the NHS volunteers' team bound for Sierra Leone
Flogging vlogging: First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books

Flogging vlogging

First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books
Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show: US channels wage comedy star wars

Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show

US channels wage comedy star wars
When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine? When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible

When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine?

When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible