Liz Hoggard: Having a baby on your own is no picnic, so we need help

Share

It's no surprise to me that the demand for assisted conception from single women is rising rapidly. If Mr Right (or even Mr Right Now) doesn't come along, it shouldn't mean women such as me automatically lose out on parenthood.

I completely understand why, after years of agonising, SadFab woman - single and desperate for a baby - has decided to take control of her biological destiny and use a sperm donor. Readers of the 'Daily Mail', of course, subscribe to the view of the single woman as a control-freak, ball-breaking perfectionist. Too selfish to have a relationship, she'll be left on the shelf clutching a Prada handbag, not a baby.

Well, personally, I haven't spent the past 10 years squandering a six-figure income on handbags and a second home in Norfolk. But it has to be said that I have been working ball-breaking hours on a job I love. Nor have I been turning down prospective husbands because they aren't rich or handsome enough. To be honest, a credit card and non-sexist views tend to do the trick. It's just that life doesn't always work out quite as you planned.

Can anyone, any longer, seriously say there's a problem with a woman having a baby on her own? Especially when there are so many other ways that the standard father package can go wrong. There are some great dads around, but I'm always suspicious when people start fetishising fatherhood. The most recent figures show that only 12.5 per cent of absent fathers make regular maintenance payments.

It seems out of date to withhold sperm donor services from single women when we know we can so easily do it ourselves. And is using a donor worse than getting together in your late 30s with a guy you half like, to have a kid? Or even staying in a failed marriage?

As for the stereotype of solo mothers who are too lazy to have a relationship, baby-making is no picnic. I have close friends who have spent years in the waiting room of the assisted conception unit, swallowing pills, injecting themselves with hormones, having chemically-harvested eggs collected. It takes take real bravery - and a lot of money - to go it alone.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Software Testing Manager

£30000 - £60000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join ...

Recruitment Genius: Visitor Experience Coordinator

£17600 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This museum cares for one of the largest...

Recruitment Genius: Telesales Consultant - OTE £25,000

£16000 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A fantastic opportunity has ope...

Recruitment Genius: Pricing & Purchasing Analyst

£15000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: One of the largest independent ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
A young person in the UK is now twice as likely to be poor as a pensioner  

Britain is no country for the young – in jobs, income or housing

Ben Chu
LaGuardia Airport: a relic from a different, gentler age  

New York's LaGuardia Airport to be rebuilt: It could become the best gateway to America

Simon Calder
Turkey's conflict with Kurdish guerrillas in Iraq can benefit Isis in Syria

Turkey's conflict with Kurdish guerrillas in Iraq can benefit Isis in Syria

Turkish President Erdogan could benefit politically from the targeting of the PKK, says Patrick Cockburn
Yvette Cooper: Our choice is years of Tory rule under Jeremy Corbyn or a return to a Labour government

Our choice is years of Tory rule under Corbyn or a return to a Labour government

Yvette Cooper urged Labour members to 'get serious' about the next general election rather than become 'a protest movement'
Singapore's domestic workers routinely exploited and often abused in the service of rich nationals

Singapore's hidden secret of domestic worker abuse

David Cameron was shown the country's shiniest veneer on his tour. What he didn't see was the army of foreign women who are routinely exploited and often abused in the service of rich nationals
Showdown by Shirley Jackson: A previously unpublished short story from the queen of American Gothic

Showdown, by Shirley Jackson

A previously unpublished short story from the queen of American Gothic
10 best DSLRs

Be sharp! 10 best DSLRs

Up your photography game with a versatile, powerful machine
Solved after 200 years: the mysterious deaths of 3,000 soldiers from Napoleon's army

Solved after 200 years

The mysterious deaths of 3,000 soldiers from Napoleon's army
Every regional power has betrayed the Kurds so Turkish bombing is no surprise

Robert Fisk on the Turkey conflict

Every regional power has betrayed the Kurds so Turkish bombing is no surprise
Investigation into wreck of unidentified submarine found off the coast of Sweden

Sunken sub

Investigation underway into wreck of an unidentified submarine found off the coast of Sweden
Instagram and Facebook have 'totally changed' the way people buy clothes

Age of the selfie

Instagram and Facebook have 'totally changed' the way people buy clothes
Not so square: How BBC's Bloomsbury saga is sexing up the period drama

Not so square

How Virginia Woolf saga is sexing up the BBC period drama
Rio Olympics 2016: The seven teenagers still carrying a torch for our Games hopes

Still carrying the torch

The seven teenagers given our Olympic hopes
The West likes to think that 'civilisation' will defeat Isis, but history suggests otherwise

The West likes to think that 'civilisation' will defeat Isis...

...but history suggests otherwise
The bald truth: How one author's thinning hair made him a Wayne Rooney sympathiser

The bald truth

How thinning hair made me a Wayne Rooney sympathiser
Froome wins second Tour de France after triumphant ride into Paris with Team Sky

Tour de France 2015

Froome rides into Paris to win historic second Tour
Fifteen years ago, Concorde crashed, and a dream died. Today, the desire to travel faster than the speed of sound is growing once again

A new beginning for supersonic flight?

Concorde's successors are in the works 15 years on from the Paris crash