Lord Sugar*: Losers and prima donnas need not apply

Tips from the top...

Share
Related Topics

There's websites, there's manuals, there's experts, there's all sorts out there but at the end of the day you've come to me for tips from the top. Now why's that?

Shut up, I'll tell you why. Because I'm Lord Sugar, and because when I left school back at 16 back in Hackney without a pot to piss in, I learnt the biggest lesson of my life. You find the customer, you get a good price, you make a profit. End of. It don't matter to me if the customer is the bloke next door, a granny with a hearing aid or bloomin' Genghis Khan. Get in there, do the deal, move on. It's not rocket science, right?

No, shut up, that's why you're nobody and I'm Lord Sugar, worth £800m, with a chauffeur-driven Roller with AMS1 number-plates. It's why, when I walk through that frost-glass door and sit down between Nick and Karren, it's bloody squeaky-bum time in the boardroom, right? I don't like losers, and I don't like prima donnas. I can't stand people who think they know the answers, or smart-alecks who do know the answers. I don't like people who answer back, or keep schtum like bloody shrinking whasnames when I ask a question. I don't like these people, I don't need 'em and I certainly don't employ 'em.

Hold on, hold on, I'll give you tips from the top in my own time, yeah? Education: I never said it wasn't important. Learn how to use a calculator, books (how to balance them), a few of what I call marketing skills (spotting the mugs, basically), and then on your bike – it's time to make some money.

When journalists interview me, I tell them straight. You may have read loads and sat on your arse at Poncyface College, Cantab, but who's the billionaire round here and who's working for a rag no one reads? Tell you what, when I was a nipper, a newspaper was something you hung on a nail in the outside khazi. At least they were useful in them days.

And if anyone comes to me and tries it on with their airs and graces, I'll tell you this – they're going to get mullered. At the end of the day, I'm just a bloke making his way in the world. I like to have my down-time hanging out with my mates at the House of Lords bar. The people who work for me call me by exactly the same name as my own missus and family. "Your lordship", "Lord Sugar", "Sir" – I don't stand on bloody ceremony.

Now get out. I'm sick of your face.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: UI Developer - (UI, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, AngularJS)

£25000 - £40000 per annum: Ashdown Group: UI Developer - (UI, JavaScript, HTML...

Ashdown Group: Graduate UI Developer - HTML, CSS, Javascript

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Graduate UI Application Developer - ...

Ashdown Group: B2B Marketing Manager - Events, Digital, Offline

£45000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: B2B Marketing Manager (Events, Digit...

Guru Careers: Senior Account Manager / SAM

£30 - 35k: Guru Careers: A Senior Account Manager / SAM is needed to join the ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Daily catch-up: Liz Kendall speaks to the Westminster press pack – kamikaze or courage?

John Rentoul
Ukraine’s hope of a future with the West has ended with death and annexation in the east  

Ukraine’s tragedy casts a pall over the EU summit

Mary Dejevsky
Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Dominic Rossi of Fidelity says his pressure on business to control rewards is working. But why aren’t other fund managers helping?
The King David Hotel gives precious work to Palestinians - unless peace talks are on

King David Hotel: Palestinians not included

The King David is special to Jerusalem. Nick Kochan checked in and discovered it has some special arrangements, too
More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years

End of the Aussie brain drain

More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years
Meditation is touted as a cure for mental instability but can it actually be bad for you?

Can meditation be bad for you?

Researching a mass murder, Dr Miguel Farias discovered that, far from bringing inner peace, meditation can leave devotees in pieces
Eurovision 2015: Australians will be cheering on their first-ever entrant this Saturday

Australia's first-ever Eurovision entrant

Australia, a nation of kitsch-worshippers, has always loved the Eurovision Song Contest. Maggie Alderson says it'll fit in fine
Letterman's final Late Show: Laughter, but no tears, as David takes his bow after 33 years

Laughter, but no tears, as Letterman takes his bow after 33 years

Veteran talkshow host steps down to plaudits from four presidents
Ivor Novello Awards 2015: Hozier wins with anti-Catholic song 'Take Me To Church' as John Whittingdale leads praise for Black Sabbath

Hozier's 'blasphemous' song takes Novello award

Singer joins Ed Sheeran and Clean Bandit in celebration of the best in British and Irish music
Tequila gold rush: The spirit has gone from a cheap shot to a multi-billion pound product

Join the tequila gold rush

The spirit has gone from a cheap shot to a multi-billion pound product
12 best statement wallpapers

12 best statement wallpapers

Make an impact and transform a room with a conversation-starting pattern
Paul Scholes column: Does David De Gea really want to leave Manchester United to fight it out for the No 1 spot at Real Madrid?

Paul Scholes column

Does David De Gea really want to leave Manchester United to fight it out for the No 1 spot at Real Madrid?
Season's finale brings the end of an era for top coaches and players across the continent

The end of an era across the continent

It's time to say farewell to Klopp, Clement, Casillas and Xavi this weekend as they move on to pastures new, reports Pete Jenson
Bin Laden documents released: Papers reveal his obsession with attacking the US and how his failure to keep up with modern jihad led to Isis

'Focus on killing American people'

Released Bin Laden documents reveal obsession with attacking United States
Life hacks: The innovations of volunteers and medical workers are helping Medécins Sans Frontières save people around the world

Medécins Sans Frontières's life hacks

The innovations of volunteers and medical workers around the world are helping the charity save people
Ireland's same-sex marriage vote: As date looms, the Irish ask - how would God vote?

Same-sex marriage

As date looms, the Irish ask - how would God vote?
The underworld is going freelance: Why The Godfather's Mafia model is no longer viable

The Mafia is going freelance

Why the underworld model depicted in The Godfather is no longer viable