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Quotes of the day

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"This is absolutely barmy. They are petrified that they offend the minority, but what they are doing is offending the majority" - Tory MP Robert Goodwill on the decision by Yorkshire Coast College to remove Christmas and Easter from their calendar to avoid offending non-Christians.

"Mr Blobby and Beethoven are yokemates of broadcasting destiny" - London's mayor Boris Johnson, saying that the BBC has a duty to appeal to all tastes.

"You wouldn't want me to play Frost in a wheelchair" - Actor Sir David Jason, 68, announcing that he is to quit the role of the famous TV detective.

"Living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban. Mothers are not allowed to dance, sing, flirt, laugh loudly or wear short skirts" - Best-selling writer Kathy Lette.

"I looked at myself in the mirror and thought 'For an old bird you are not doing too badly' " - TV presenter Lorraine Kelly, 48, after dressing up for a fashion awards event.

"Fashion and Downing Street haven't always gone hand in hand, but I feel that Gordon has done his bit over the summer by losing a few inches" - Sarah Brown, the Prime Minister's wife, who hosted a reception for fashion experts at No 10.

"I have two orbs that visit me. They're both the size of a melon and one sits on my arm and the other is over my shoulder. I like to think they're my parents" - Noel Edmonds.

"I again show my vast range, playing a short fat man from London. I've pretty much nailed that part" - Ricky Gervais on his role in a new movie.

"The rebels are an odd bunch. Some of them are former ministers. We all understand how they became 'former'. The puzzle is how they became ministers in the first place" - Labour MP Paul Flynn.

"All you bankers have had your fat years. Now get ready for some very thin ones. You posed as the engines of economic growth, but really you were petrolheads, pure and simple, addicted to the short-term rush provided by speedy profits" - Writer Will Self.

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