Rebecca Armstrong: A higher-tech hair removal device – it must be good!

FreeView from the editors at i

Share
Related Topics

One of the most enduring relationships of my life has been a roller coaster love affair. Extreme highs when my expectations were exceeded, crushing lows when my hopes were dashed. But still I go back for more. More heated rollers, more curling tongs, more electronic exfoliators, more hair-removing contraptions. I love grooming gadgets with an unhealthy fervour. I want to leave them, to be free of spending money on things that don't work, and to stop trying to recreate the buzz of the early days with the things that do what they're meant to but that I've subsequently fallen out of love with. But Babyliss, Braun, Remington – I just can't quit you.

It started with a childhood sweetheart. A Barbie hair braider that was supposed to twirl her locks into perfect plaits. The best bit was, according to the ad, that you could use it on your own hair. Oh bright future where I could have Barbie's braids! I was going to have the best hair at Jenny Sweetenham's seventh birthday party. But it was not to be – Babs's waist-length mane turned into a matted dreadlock, and my mother banned me from trying it on myself.

At 14, I showed off a new battery-powered heated hairbrush while my stepmother spluttered: "I thought that was a vibrator!" Which probably would have done a better job on my hair.

Since then, things have hotted up between me and tongs, hair straighteners (several varieties), electric trimmers and epilators. What keeps me going back is that for every failure – the device that's meant to suck all the dirt out of your pores but is just too tedious to use – there's a whirlwind romance. Oh Babyliss Big Hair, run your bristles through my tresses and say you'll never leave me.

Now, though, I think I may have met The One. The Gadget to End All Gadgets.

The new Gilette Venus Naked Skin is (I tremble as I type) an "intense pulsed light hair removal system". Who wouldn't want to run off into the sunset with that? It's got it all – high price tag (nearly 500 quid) that I can convince myself is worth it because if I'm faithful, and use it every fortnight, my legs will forget they ever knew what hair was and I'll never buy another razor. It's terrifyingly hi-tech. But best of all? Even if – and like any fiancee refusing a pre-nup, I can't believe this will ever happen – it ends up not being Mr Right, it looks like so ridiculously, gorgeously slick, I think I'd keep it around just for its good looks. I've definitely never felt like this before...

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Austen Lloyd: Corporate Tax Associate - London

Excellent Package: Austen Lloyd: CITY - HIGHEST QUALITY INTERNATIONAL FIRM - A...

Austen Lloyd: Senior Law Costs - London City

Excellent Package: Austen Lloyd: CITY - EXCELLENT FIRM - We have an outstandin...

Austen Lloyd: In-House Solicitor / Company Secretary - London

Excellent Package: Austen Lloyd: IN-HOUSE - NATIONAL CHARITY - An exciting and...

Austen Lloyd: Commercial Property Solicitor - Exeter

Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: EXETER - A great new opportunity with real pot...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Errors & Omissions: Magna Carta, sexing bishops and ministerial aides

John Rentoul
 

‘They’ve seen the future – and got it for a song’: the unlikely history of Canary Wharf

Jack Brown
Isis hostage crisis: The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power

Isis hostage crisis

The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power, says Robert Fisk
Missing salvage expert who found $50m of sunken treasure before disappearing, tracked down at last

The runaway buccaneers and the ship full of gold

Salvage expert Tommy Thompson found sunken treasure worth millions. Then he vanished... until now
Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Maverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
Assisted Dying Bill: I want to be able to decide about my own death - I want to have control of my life

Assisted Dying Bill: 'I want control of my life'

This week the Assisted Dying Bill is debated in the Lords. Virginia Ironside, who has already made plans for her own self-deliverance, argues that it's time we allowed people a humane, compassionate death
Move over, kale - cabbage is the new rising star

Cabbage is king again

Sophie Morris banishes thoughts of soggy school dinners and turns over a new leaf
11 best winter skin treats

Give your moisturiser a helping hand: 11 best winter skin treats

Get an extra boost of nourishment from one of these hard-working products
Paul Scholes column: The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him

Paul Scholes column

The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him
Frank Warren column: No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans

Frank Warren's Ringside

No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans
Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

Homeless Veterans appeal

MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

Comedians share stories of depression

The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

Has The Archers lost the plot?

A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

14 office buildings added to protected lists

Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee