Rebecca Tyrrel: 'Theresa May’s forays into erotica haven’t progressed beyond some lively shoe styles'

Share
Related Topics

Who knew that there is a soft-porn star called Teresa May? Well, obviously fans of her filmic oeuvre and glamour model shots know this. So does Theresa May, who has received invitations intended for a near namesake who does something no Tory Home Secretary would ever countenance, ie, publicly dropping an 'h' along with her garments. She also provides hot action with a lesbian colleague, in case you are interested.

"We do get telephones calls from time to time," the MP for – ooh er, missus! – Maidenhead once revealed, "from people who want to book me to do programmes which are perhaps not about politics."

Lest confusion linger, let the record show that Theresa's forays into erotica have never progressed beyond wearing some lively shoe styles when berating her own side as "the nasty party" at a conference. Teresa's sorties into home affairs, meanwhile, have been limited to a saucy appearance in the video for Smack My Bitch Up (The Prodigy's 1997 public information film about domestic violence) and a role in Exterminator City, a prophetic movie made long before Theresa flew home to deal with the London riots still clad in holiday sandals.

Given her status as a home-counties Tory goddess, Theresa is surprisingly soft on porn, soft on the causes of porn. "It is her life and she chooses to earn her living in the way she does," she once said of Teresa. "She might think it is slightly strange that someone likes to lead their life as a politician." Teresa is just as tolerant of her alter ego. "Everyone to their own," was her comment on Theresa's career.

It seems a shame that they have never met, let alone discussed a job swap. "Crime figures are coming down ... as fast as my undies!" is a slogan to have the blue rinses creaking to their feet for a standing ovation. "I will not hesitate to sanction the use of truncheons, handcuffs and even rubber bullets," would enthuse the adult movie-buying demographic.

On reflection, perhaps it's as well if the pair stick to their own jobs. There is a not- so-happy precedent for these two worlds colliding, as the former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith and her porn-viewing husband Richard could well tell you.

React Now

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Senior Accounts Assistant - Accounts Payable - St. Albans

£26000 - £28000 per annum + benefits : Ashdown Group: Senior Accounts Assistan...

Ashdown Group: Treasury Assistant - Accounts Assistant - London, Old Street

£24000 - £26000 per annum + benefits : Ashdown Group: A highly successful, glo...

Recruitment Genius: Installation and Service / Security Engineer

£22000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company is part of a Group...

Recruitment Genius: Service Charge Accounts Assistant

£16000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you a a young, dynamic pers...

Day In a Page

Read Next
A Gold Ferrari sits outside Chanel on Sloane Street  

Sunday Times Rich List: We are no longer in thrall to very rich people

Terence Blacker
David Cameron was openly emotional at the prospect of Scotland leaving the union before the referendum  

General election 2015: Remember when David Cameron almost cried over Scotland because he loved it so much?

Matthew Norman
Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

How a costume drama became a Sunday night staple
Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers as he pushes Tories on housing

Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers

Labour leader pushes Tories on housing
Aviation history is littered with grand failures - from the the Bristol Brabazon to Concorde - but what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?

Aviation history is littered with grand failures

But what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?
Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of Soviet-style 'iron curtains' right across Europe

Fortress Europe?

Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of 'iron curtains'
Never mind what you're wearing, it's what you're reclining on

Never mind what you're wearing

It's what you're reclining on that matters
General Election 2015: Chuka Umunna on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband

Chuka Umunna: A virus of racism runs through Ukip

The shadow business secretary on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband
Yemen crisis: This exotic war will soon become Europe's problem

Yemen's exotic war will soon affect Europe

Terrorism and boatloads of desperate migrants will be the outcome of the Saudi air campaign, says Patrick Cockburn
Marginal Streets project aims to document voters in the run-up to the General Election

Marginal Streets project documents voters

Independent photographers Joseph Fox and Orlando Gili are uploading two portraits of constituents to their website for each day of the campaign
Game of Thrones: Visit the real-life kingdom of Westeros to see where violent history ends and telly tourism begins

The real-life kingdom of Westeros

Is there something a little uncomfortable about Game of Thrones shooting in Northern Ireland?
How to survive a social-media mauling, by the tough women of Twitter

How to survive a Twitter mauling

Mary Beard, Caroline Criado-Perez, Louise Mensch, Bunny La Roche and Courtney Barrasford reveal how to trounce the trolls
Gallipoli centenary: At dawn, the young remember the young who perished in one of the First World War's bloodiest battles

At dawn, the young remember the young

A century ago, soldiers of the Empire – many no more than boys – spilt on to Gallipoli’s beaches. On this 100th Anzac Day, there are personal, poetic tributes to their sacrifice
Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves

Follow the money as never before

Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves, reports Rupert Cornwell
Samuel West interview: The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents

Samuel West interview

The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents
General Election 2015: Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Fashion editor, Alexander Fury, on what the leaders' appearances tell us about them
Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

The architect of the HeForShe movement and head of UN Women on the world's failure to combat domestic violence