Rebecca Tyrrel: 'Theresa May’s forays into erotica haven’t progressed beyond some lively shoe styles'

Share
Related Topics

Who knew that there is a soft-porn star called Teresa May? Well, obviously fans of her filmic oeuvre and glamour model shots know this. So does Theresa May, who has received invitations intended for a near namesake who does something no Tory Home Secretary would ever countenance, ie, publicly dropping an 'h' along with her garments. She also provides hot action with a lesbian colleague, in case you are interested.

"We do get telephones calls from time to time," the MP for – ooh er, missus! – Maidenhead once revealed, "from people who want to book me to do programmes which are perhaps not about politics."

Lest confusion linger, let the record show that Theresa's forays into erotica have never progressed beyond wearing some lively shoe styles when berating her own side as "the nasty party" at a conference. Teresa's sorties into home affairs, meanwhile, have been limited to a saucy appearance in the video for Smack My Bitch Up (The Prodigy's 1997 public information film about domestic violence) and a role in Exterminator City, a prophetic movie made long before Theresa flew home to deal with the London riots still clad in holiday sandals.

Given her status as a home-counties Tory goddess, Theresa is surprisingly soft on porn, soft on the causes of porn. "It is her life and she chooses to earn her living in the way she does," she once said of Teresa. "She might think it is slightly strange that someone likes to lead their life as a politician." Teresa is just as tolerant of her alter ego. "Everyone to their own," was her comment on Theresa's career.

It seems a shame that they have never met, let alone discussed a job swap. "Crime figures are coming down ... as fast as my undies!" is a slogan to have the blue rinses creaking to their feet for a standing ovation. "I will not hesitate to sanction the use of truncheons, handcuffs and even rubber bullets," would enthuse the adult movie-buying demographic.

On reflection, perhaps it's as well if the pair stick to their own jobs. There is a not- so-happy precedent for these two worlds colliding, as the former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith and her porn-viewing husband Richard could well tell you.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Junior DBA (SQL Server, T-SQL, SSIS, SSAS) London - Finance

£30000 - £33000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: Junior DBA (SQ...

Business Anaylst

£60000 - £75000 per annum + BONUS + BENEFITS: Harrington Starr: Business Anal...

Senior Project Manager

£60000 - £90000 per annum + Bonus: Harrington Starr: Global leading Energy Tra...

Associate CXL Consultant

£40000 - £60000 per annum + BONUS + BENEFITS: Harrington Starr: CXL, Triple Po...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi addresses the nation on the country's Independence Day in New Delhi, India  

With Modi talking tough and Sharif weak, the India-Pakistan love-in could never last

Andrew Buncombe
At the time of the investigation Patrick Foster published a statement on Twitter, denouncing the “unnecessarily heavy-handed police investigation”  

Long-term bail allows lazy police and prosecutors to leave cases to gather dust

Oliver Wright
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home
Lauded therapist Harley Mille still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Lauded therapist still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Australian Harley Miller is as frustrated by court delays as she is with the idiosyncrasies of immigration law
Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world. But could his predictions of war do the same?

Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world...

But could his predictions of war do the same?
Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs: 'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs
Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities, but why?

Young at hort

Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities. But why are so many people are swapping sweaty clubs for leafy shrubs?
Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award: 'making a quip as funny as possible is an art'

Beyond a joke

Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award, has nigh-on 200 in his act. So how are they conceived?
The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

Sadly though, the Lawrence of Arabia star is not around to lend his own critique
Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire: The joy of camping in a wetland nature reserve and sleeping under the stars

A wild night out

Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire offers a rare chance to camp in a wetland nature reserve
Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition: It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans

Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition

It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans
Besiktas vs Arsenal: Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie

Besiktas vs Arsenal

Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie
Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

As the Northern Irishman prepares for the Barclays, he finds time to appear on TV in the States, where he’s now such a global superstar that he needs no introduction
Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to Formula One

Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to F1

The 16-year-old will become the sport’s youngest-ever driver when he makes his debut for Toro Rosso next season
Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

But belated attempts to unite will be to no avail if the Sunni caliphate remains strong in Syria, says Patrick Cockburn
Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I would end up killing myself in jail'

Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I'd end up killing myself in jail'

Following last week's report on prison suicides, the former inmate asks how much progress we have made in the 50 years since the abolition of capital punishment