It is 2.15pm in the cramped studio at Loamshire FM and, with the lunchtime show only a fleeting memory, Rossy Boy is in his element.
Fiona the Forecast (weather updates) has been and gone, along with Wheelie Waz (traffic news). Just now, with the aid of a great deal of innuendo, Rossy is interviewing a woman who bakes erotic cakes for a living. Round about 2.30pm, he will be moving on to "Rossi's Afternoon Nutters", a feature for which he phones a pub somewhere in the vicinity and listens to the regulars do imitations of farmyard animals.
Rossy – real name Ross Boythorn – was introduced to the delights of radio at a very early stage in his upbringing. His mum used to listen to Noel Edmonds and Simon Bates while she did the housework, and one of his earliest memories is of being wheeled in a pram to a local park where the Radio One roadshow was in situ and listening to her chant "Hairy cornflake, hairy cornflake" while a man with a beard judged a pogo contest. While his schoolmates were plumping for apprenticeships and insurance companies, Rossy looked the careers adviser firmly in the eye and announced that he wanted to be a disc jockey.
The journey from the modest back-bedroom where he honed his patter in front of the mirror to the three-hour daily stint on Loamshire FM was by no means an easy one, but what Rossy lacked in educational qualifications or personal resonance – he is a tall, pale, thin 30-year-old with receding hair and a tendency to acne – he made up for with sheer enthusiasm. No one would dream of letting him near a local politician or religious leader, but "Rossi's Seaside Sundae", for which he traversed the promenades of the nearest resort and asked young women if they had caught crabs, was a huge success.
Fans of the station, introduced to Rossy for the first time, often ask him what bands and singers he likes, but such replies as he offers are curiously half-hearted. Brought up on the personality school of radio DJ-ing, with its funny voices and down-the-line practical joking, Rossy isn't really interested in music. But a guest who devises rude anagrams of the names of the Royal Family is always assured of a welcome. This is, as he will tell you, "what radio is all about".Reuse content