Sarah Sands: They think it's all over for pubs. It isn't now ...

Share
+More
Related Topics

It was the interval of the distinguished As You Like It at the Old Vic last Wednesday afternoon and the audience was frantic to know the score. I legged it past the cafés and shops to the one place I knew wouldn't let me down.

I could not push through the door for the crowd staring up at the communal television screen and then I was further forced back by the rapture of applause and cheering. "What, what?" I asked a woman on the step, holding a sun-drenched pint. She raised her glass to me and laughed breathlessly: "Defoe."

The World Cup has restored pubs to the centre of national life. As Al Murray puts it in his terrible anthem: "Football's not coming home, it's going to the pub." Perhaps because England's performance has been so painful to watch, we have opted to share the anguish.

The pub is the right place to slake our thirst for glory, to deaden our dull dread of defeat. It is true that many traditionalists will decry the presence of a television. They tend to share George Orwell's 1940s fantasy of "draught stout, open fires, cheap meals, a garden, motherly barmaids and no radio". But if television is going to help the communal experience, I think we have to let it in.

The death of the pub has become such a cliché that we hardly notice how many are in robust health. Despite the general retreat into the home for food and entertainment, even though television now offers a zillion channels, it turns out that, given the chance, we all want to watch the same thing and to watch it together. Communities exist, they are just not necessarily the same thing as villages.

Pubs survive against all cultural predictions. Women were meant to hate them – since Bridget Jones, female relationships shifted to wine bars. The smoking ban threatened to kill them off. Higher taxes, longer opening hours, stricter drink-drive limits, men's first steps into child care, conspired against their survival. And at the end of all this, what becomes the chief celebrity playground in London? Guy Ritchie's unpretentious Mayfair pub, The Punch Bowl.

Pubs prosper because they follow the grain of human nature. It took a recession to make us understand that nobody is truly happy in a grand restaurant. Good plain food in bare but friendly surroundings is much nicer. Who wouldn't prefer the York and Albany gastropub to the Ritz? A sorrowful clue to the failing marriage of Mr and Mrs Guy Ritchie was Madonna's attitude to pubs. She tried so very hard to embrace them. But they never suited her. It is a collective experience rather than a star system. Nothing much happens. The table is often a bit wobbly and profundity is achieved through silent reverie in front of a pint rather than zealous spirituality.

Madonna praised British pubs enthusiastically, so when she returned to America she was asked sympathetically if she missed them. "No," she snapped.

Meanwhile, Lady Gaga arrived in the country to drink our pubs dry.

Many pubs are closing, but the ones that get it right are doing a roaring trade. Wetherspoon profits are up 41 per cent on 2009. The founder, Tim Martin, understood that pubs, like football, are built on teams. And that the needs of the customer are not complicated. His secret formula, with which Orwell would surely have had much sympathy, is only this: "You can talk all you like about building brands... but I still say 80 per cent of your view of a pub is how your pint is poured."

React Now

Day In a Page

Read Next
A man, pixelated, was reportedly attacked with a machete-style knife  

Woolwich attack: The EDL might have a sinister plan as a soldier is murdered in suspected Islamic terrorist attack

Jamie Lewis
 

Stop laying into GPs. We don't deserve it

Dr Clare Gerada
National archives: Edward VIII’s phone calls - and how MI5 bugged them

Edward VIII’s phone calls - and how MI5 bugged them

Newly unearthed papers reveal a shocking extra dimension to the constitutional crisis over monarch’s abdication
Sent down at the Old Bailey: A tour of the world's most famous court

Sent down at the Old Bailey

A tour of the world's most famous court
Hollywood's random acts of red-carpet kindness

Hollywood's random acts of red-carpet kindness

The Hangover actor Zach Galifianakis’s date for his movie premieres isn’t arm candy  – it’s his 87-year-old friend who he saved from homelessness
British football scores an own goal

British football scores an own goal

Many managers barely survive a year in post. Martin Baker talks to experts who make a case for clubs using forensic business skills to find the best staff
James Lawton: Sergio Garcia cracks as major fault line opens up again

James Lawton

Sergio Garcia cracks as major fault line opens up again
Dylan Hartley: Northampton have spent the season proving all our critics wrong

Dylan Hartley talks tough

Northampton have spent the season proving all our critics wrong
Watch out Watford: Here comes the secretive Bilderberg Group

Watch out Watford: Here comes the secretive Bilderberg Group

A meeting of global power brokers in a Hertfordshire hotel is exciting conspiracy theorists, but what are they really about?
'The ultimate all-in-one home entertainment system': Microsoft finally unveils its Xbox ONE console

'The ultimate all-in-one home entertainment system'

Microsoft finally unveils its Xbox ONE console
Plenty of Fish dating site founder pulls 'Intimate Encounters' option to ward off sleazy men

Plenty of sleaze

Dating website pulls intimate 'hook-up' section to curb harassment
Inferno author Dan Brown 'honoured' to be invited to join the Freemasons

The Freemasons’ Code

Dan Brown reveals the message that told him door to the lodge is open
Not secure any more: G4S boss heads for exit at last

Not secure any more: G4S boss heads for exit at last

Nick Buckles survived the Olympics débâcle and a £5bn bid fiasco but a profit warning finally triggered his downfall
How to say ‘I’m a sellout’: Tumblr’s David Karp’s message of reassurance to his staff sounded very familiar

How to say ‘I’m a sellout’

Tumblr’s David Karp’s message of reassurance to his staff sounded very familiar
Why clubs are keen to take a stand

Why clubs are keen to take a stand

There's a real desire around the grounds for safe standing. But will the authorities listen?
In the end the fans decided Tony Pulis had made a pig's ear of the job at Stoke City

In the end the fans decided Tony Pulis had made a pig's ear of the job at Stoke City

Disillusion with a siege mentality and negative playing style made change inevitable
James Lawton: The James Hunt I knew is the subject of a new F1 movie

James Lawton: The James Hunt I knew is the subject of a new F1 movie

British driver was fascinating man whose epic duel with Niki Lauda in 1976 was typical of an era of glamour and glory – but also the ever-present threat of death