Simon Carr:

The Sketch: Brown the wounded bull is tormented by blue matador

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There's a sort of bullfighting thing going on now on Wednesday afternoons.

I'm amazed it's legal. Fancy pants Cameron turns his leg and makes elegant arabesques with his cloak. The bleeding piece of beef that is our Prime Minister blunders round the ring exciting pity in the pricey seats.

Three or four times yesterday, Cameron dominated him just by eye.

The Dalai Lama. This has been another of Brown's indecisions. The calculation had unmanned him. Doing the moral thing is all very well, but you don't want to annoy the Chinese.

Whips had set up the most pitiful patsy from Madeleine Moon about youth employment. No, really egregiously bad. So, when Cameron asked about Tibet, the PM was already responding rather than leading.

Brown said he had spoken to Premier Wen that morning. "I made it absolutely clear there had to be an end to the violence." How about that? Telling China what's what. But he spoiled the effect with his next remark: "I hope members on all sides of the House will agree with that."

First bellow, then cringe. Neither is prime ministerial.

He continued. Wen was agreeing to dialogue with the Dalai Lama and so (it did seem to be a "so") Gordon was going to meet him too. Tory "Ahhhh!s."

Cameron rose again and swirled his cloak. Well done, Prime Minister, difficult decision, "And I congratulate him on doing the right thing."

"Bleeding Beef" Brown hadn't realised Cameron had sat down. How was he to respond to the question? Cunningly, Cameron hadn't left him with a question. Should he smile and nod? Should he rise and accept the compliment with a wry phrase? Or shudder to his feet and blurt: "We make the right decisions at all times."

You'll have to guess which option he chose.

After PMQs he made a statement on our National Security Strategy. It didn't sound like a strategy. It sounded like a brief for a strategy. He told us that troops on active service would get a council-tax rebate and that we were reducing nuclear warheads by 20 per cent. Then there was world poverty, climate change, increasing Foreign Office staff in the Middle East by 30 per cent, and £600m applied to "conflict prevention, resolution and stabilisation work". It was a bowl of administrative Cheerios thrown in the public's face.

But when Cameron asked him for an inquiry into the conduct of the Iraq war – something that will surely provide those "lessons that need to be learnt"... Oh no, that would "distract the attention" of the MoD. No inquiry while troops are in Afghanistan (so it's a generation away).

"We make the right decisions at all times." Remember that.

simoncarr@sketch.sc

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