Simon Carr:

The Sketch: Ed, you are more Gromit than Wallace

Share
Related Topics

Yes, a roller coaster of emotions. You must have felt them too, as Harriet wound up the conference. They'd been disappointed, proud, sobered, fortified and as Lord Prescott would say, optimisticated. Yes, and when the polls come out they might get that lovely whizzy feeling you get going over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Every post-conference poll gives a party a four-point bounce. Iain Duncan Something got four points after his Quiet Man speech. Ed Miliband will need eight to be a success.

Harriet said 3,000 people had joined the party since news of Ed's assumption, maybe he'll make it.

Already he's stamping his authority. Chief whip Nick Brown woke up to welcome the new generation and found a horse's head in his bed. I hope Ed Balls is avoiding those old, metal-grille lifts.

At any rate, the Sketch is rarely susceptible to optimism but there is a cracking good chance this is going to be a great leadership story. When you pause the TV on Ed Miliband's close-ups it is possible to sense in him a reservoir of ambition, determination, and indifference to cruelty. Let him complete his grip on the Shadow Cabinet, softly softly, gently gently. And let us follow at a safe distance in the knowledge this is going to end in Technicolor.

What were the highlights? We start with Gordon Brown's new communications strategy. It's the Elephant Man idea, essentially, bellowing at people "I'm not a politician, I'm a normal person!" He described his marriage saying: "It is a love affair that will never end." And then, echoing her compliment to him: "My wife. My hero."

We should consider ourselves lucky. If he thought normal people quoted Lady Chatterley, we might have got some of the most purple passages in modern politics.

That this is the last sort of thing normal people say was missed by him because – as 61 million people in the UK know – Gordon is far from a normal person.

The other great moment was Eddie Izzard's debut, chairing a Q and A for the new leader. God he made me laugh.

You know how Ed Miliband sloughed off his nicknames in a plea for "grown-up debate"? Forrest Gump, Red Ed and Wallace? Eddie Izzard took up the theme and interrupted his chairing to do some comedy. "You're not Wallace," he said... "You're Gromit!" Gromit is the non-speaking dog in the animated show. There was a certain lack of reaction in the hall. Izzard went on: "Gromit makes a space craft that goes to the moon and stops the evil penguin! So you're more Gromit than Wallace!"

Ed, with exquisite timing: "Let's have some more questions."

I haven't laughed so much at a comedian for years. Eddie wants to be an MP. Let it be so! We all want Eddie to be an MP!

twitter.com/simonsketch

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Cleaner

£15000 - £16500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: If you've got first class custo...

Recruitment Genius: Mobile Applications Developer / Architect - iOS and Android

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This is a great opportunity to join a medium s...

Recruitment Genius: Telesales Account Executive - £40K OTE

£11830 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Working in a friendly, sales ta...

Recruitment Genius: Web Designer

£15000 - £27000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: One of the UK's leading web des...

Day In a Page

Read Next
The Pentagon has suggested that, since the campaign started, some 10,000 Isis fighters in Iraq and Syria have been killed  

War with Isis: If the US wants to destroy the group, it will need to train Syrians and Iraqis

David Usborne
David Cameron gives a speech at a Tory party dinner  

In a time of austerity, should Tories be bidding £210,000 for a signed photo of the new Cabinet?

Simon Kelner
Greece debt crisis: What happened to democracy when it’s a case of 'Vote Yes or else'?

'The economic collapse has happened. What is at risk now is democracy...'

If it doesn’t work in Europe, how is it supposed to work in India or the Middle East, asks Robert Fisk
The science of swearing: What lies behind the use of four-letter words?

The science of swearing

What lies behind the use of four-letter words?
The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won't have him back

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won’t have him back
Africa on the menu: Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the continent

Africa on the menu

Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the hot new continent
Donna Karan is stepping down after 30 years - so who will fill the DKNY creator's boots?

Who will fill Donna Karan's boots?

The designer is stepping down as Chief Designer of DKNY after 30 years. Alexander Fury looks back at the career of 'America's Chanel'
10 best statement lightbulbs

10 best statement lightbulbs

Dare to bare with some out-of-the-ordinary illumination
Wimbledon 2015: Heather Watson - 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Heather Watson: 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Briton pumped up for dream meeting with world No 1
Wimbledon 2015: Nick Bollettieri - It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve

Nick Bollettieri's Wimbledon Files

It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve
Dustin Brown: Who is the tennis player who knocked Rafael Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?

Dustin Brown

Who is the German player that knocked Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?
Ashes 2015: Damien Martyn - 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Damien Martyn: 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Australian veteran of that Ashes series, believes the hosts' may become unstoppable if they win the first Test
Tour de France 2015: Twins Simon and Adam Yates have a mountain to climb during Tour of duty

Twins have a mountain to climb during Tour of duty

Yates brothers will target the steepest sections in bid to win a stage in France
John Palmer: 'Goldfinger' of British crime was murdered, say police

Murder of the Brink’s-MAT mastermind

'Goldfinger' of British crime's life ended in a blaze of bullets, say police
Forget little green men - aliens will look like humans, says Cambridge University evolution expert

Forget little green men

Leading evolutionary biologist says aliens will look like humans
The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: An Algerian scientist adjusts to life working in a kebab shop

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

An Algerian scientist struggles to adjust to her new life working in a Scottish kebab shop
Bodyworlds museum: Dr Gunther von Hagens has battled legal threats, Parkinson's disease, and the threat of bankruptcy

Dying dream of Doctor Death

Dr Gunther von Hagens has battled legal threats, Parkinson's disease, and the threat of bankruptcy