Simon Carr:

The Sketch: MPs enjoyed an edifying apology – it even included the uncommon term 'sorry'

 

Share
Related Topics

What with PMQs, a ministerial and a personal statement from the principal, we had triple Fox and a dash of tonic. PMQs. Labour want to create the impression of a large conspiracy of secret right-wing donors buying favours and selling backstage influence.

The PM's response is, as 10-year-olds used to say, "I know you do but what about me?" Ed Miliband has put away such childish taunts. He adopted a tone of sixth-form loftiness and said he had some advice for the Prime Minister. "Show a bit of humility." As in, "That's all, mate – humility. It's not difficult. Oh right, excuse me, yeah, I forgot. NOT!"

Cameron replied with a list of Labour malpractice in the field of secret influence, and having got his opponent down, kicked him. "These are the questions he should have asked last week!"

He barely bothered to respond to Ed's last attack on Fox observing that he was "too late" and that bandwagons need to be rolling when you board them.

How much do you have to like Ed to think he did well? It probably has to be love.

Next up, a statement on the Cabinet Secretary's report on Fox. Into the ring, Angela Eagle and George Young. What a mismatch. Weight, style, reach, delivery. The longer she spoke, the more we felt like Dustin Hoffman in the Marathon Man.

Here's the painless version: the report relies too much on he word of Werritty and Fox. A full list of Werritty's contacts must be published. And those who funded Werritty fund the Tory party. Tall Sir George carried off his part with grave courtesy. He will be missed.

Andrew Tyrie and Gisela Stuart both made similar points – if this irregular, "privately funded special adviser" had been known about for so long, why hadn't the civil service done anything about it? Sheer lack of guts, gumption and gravel, they implied. What "procedures" will help that?

And finally, Fox. He came in towards the end of the statement to a roll of supportive noise and went the way so many ministers have gone. His speech went very near the edge on occasions – dead children, persecuted elderly relations – but he enjoys risk, and this he survived. Also, he was "very sorry". You so rarely hear that in an apology these days.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Mortgage Advisor - OTE £95,000

£40000 - £95000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: Trainee Vehicle Inspectors / Purchasers

£20000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Trainee Vehicle Inspectors / Pu...

Recruitment Genius: Vehicle Broker / Purchaser

£18000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive - OTE £45,000

£18000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Sales Executive is required t...

Day In a Page

Read Next
The possibility of Corbyn winning has excited some Conservatives  

Labour leadership: The choice at the heart of the leadership campaign

Jeremy Corbyn
Pablo Iglesias, the leader of Spain’s anti-austerity party Podemos  

Greece debt crisis: Trouble is, if you help the Greeks, everyone will want the same favours

Charlotte McDonald-Gibson Charlotte McDonald-Gibson
Greece debt crisis: EU 'family' needs to forgive rather than punish an impoverished state

EU 'family' needs to forgive rather than punish an impoverished state

An outbreak of malaria in Greece four years ago helps us understand the crisis, says Robert Fisk
Gaza, a year on from Operation Protective Edge: The traumatised kibbutz on Israel's front line, still recovering from last summer's war with Hamas

Gaza, a year on from Operation Protective Edge

The traumatised kibbutz on Israel's front line, still recovering from last summer's war with Hamas
How to survive electrical storms: What are the chances of being hit by lightning?

Heavy weather

What are the chances of being hit by lightning?
World Bodypainting Festival 2015: Bizarre and brilliant photos celebrate 'the body as art'

World Bodypainting Festival 2015

Bizarre and brilliant photos celebrate 'the body as art'
alt-j: A private jet, a Mercury Prize and Latitude headliners

Don't call us nerds

Craig Mclean meets alt-j - the math-folk act who are flying high
How to find gold: The Californian badlands, digging out crevasses and sifting sludge

How to find gold

Steve Boggan finds himself in the Californian badlands, digging out crevasses and sifting sludge
Singing accents: From Herman's Hermits and David Bowie to Alesha Dixon

Not born in the USA

Lay off Alesha Dixon: songs sound better in US accents, even our national anthem
10 best balsamic vinegars

10 best balsamic vinegars

Drizzle it over salad, enjoy it with ciabatta, marinate vegetables, or use it to add depth to a sauce - this versatile staple is a cook's best friend
Greece says 'No': A night of huge celebrations in Athens as voters decisively back Tsipras and his anti-austerity stance in historic referendum

Greece referendum

Greeks say 'No' to austerity and plunge Europe into crisis
Ten years after the 7/7 terror attacks, is Britain an altered state?

7/7 bombings anniversary

Ten years after the terror attacks, is Britain an altered state?
Beautiful evening dresses are some of the loveliest Donatella has created

Versace haute couture review

Beautiful evening dresses are some of the loveliest Donatella has ever created
No hope and no jobs, so Gaza's young risk their lives, climb the fence and run for it

No hope and no jobs in Gaza

So the young risk their lives and run for it
Fashion apps: Retailers roll together shopping and social networking for mobile customers

Fashion apps

Retailers roll together shopping and social networking for mobile customers
The Greek referendum exposes a gaping hole at the heart of the European Union – its distinct lack of any genuine popular legitimacy

Gaping hole at the heart of the European Union

Treatment of Greece has shown up a lack of genuine legitimacy
Number of young homeless in Britain 'more than three times the official figures'

'Everything changed when I went to the hostel'

Number of young homeless people in Britain is 'more than three times the official figures'