Simon Carr:

The Sketch: The Tories' attack plan isn't risible – it's pitiful

Share
Related Topics

So, they say shadow leader of the House Sir George Young will be "needed in government" after the election and won't stand for Speaker, should another election come about. He's one of the few front-bench Tories with ministerial experience. He did the railways, I seem to recall. Any experience is better than none.

He gave us the first parliamentary shot in reply to Alistair Darling's pre-Budget report, the first prepared, crafted, powder-packed reply. He hinted that there would be costs to the NHS consequent on the 1 per cent increase in National Insurance. What was that again?

We didn't expect Sir George to fall on the Chancellor's statement and tear it limb from quivering, bleeding limb. He's not that sort of animal. But this was very short of what was needed. We voters are groping. We stumble forward in the darkness searching for guidance. We are infinitely suggestible, because no one knows what the hell is happening with the money.

Is this the Tories' attack plan? "That 1 per cent in NI is going to cost the NHS dear. Better play safe and vote Cameron." It isn't risible, it's pitiful.

Harriet Harman gave us the date for the second reading of their Fiscal Responsibility Bill. It commits the next government to halving the deficit in four years. Maybe it'll be down to £80bn, if Darling says it will be. But he also says that public debt in the same period is going to double to £1.3 trillion. So they're saving £70bn a year by running up £700bn of debt. Isn't there something in that?

George Osborne has failed to give his party the notes, the plan, the rhetoric, the sound bites necessary to assail and assault the Government.

Whatever we think of the PM and his apprentice, they are monsters compared with their opponents. Goliaths. Conans. Terminators. Look how they discredited Major's government – at the start of the longest boom in recent history. And having presided over the biggest crash they aren't even out of countenance.

Conduct the old thought experiment. Brown and Balls leading the attack on their own position. Soon it won't be a thought experiment, it'll be happening after the next election. Then we'll see how it should be done. It'll be a demolition derby as Gordon pins on the Tories the blame for everything he's done wrong himself.

If Ken Clarke isn't in the Treasury by then, God only knows what will happen to the Tories.

simoncarr@sketch.sc

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Junior Carpenter / Carpentry

£18000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Junior Carpenter / Carpentry ...

h2 Recruit Ltd: Business Development Manager - Marketing Technology - £120k

£65000 - £90000 per annum + £150k ote: h2 Recruit Ltd: An award winning innova...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Manager - Hazardous Waste

£30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They supply 5,500 customers in the North...

Langley James : Senior Infrastructure Engineer; VMWare, Windows; Bolton; £40k

£40000 per annum + benefits: Langley James : Senior Infrastructure Engineer; V...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Theresa May is gradually building a surveillance state in bite-sized chunks

Mike Harris
More vegetarian and vegan options are now available for consumers  

The stereotypes around vegetarians and vegans must stop: I've never worn tie-dye, I'm not weak, and I can't stand Morrissey

Liz Cookman
Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Drifting and forgotten - turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Our partner charities help veterans on the brink – and get them back on their feet
Putin’s far-right ambition: Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU

Putin’s far-right ambition

Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU
Tove Jansson's Moominland: What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?

Escape to Moominland

What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?
Nightclubbing with Richard Young: The story behind his latest book of celebrity photographs

24-Hour party person

Photographer Richard Young has been snapping celebrities at play for 40 years. As his latest book is released, he reveals that it wasn’t all fun and games
Michelle Obama's school dinners: America’s children have a message for the First Lady

A taste for rebellion

US children have started an online protest against Michelle Obama’s drive for healthy school meals by posting photos of their lunches
Colouring books for adults: How the French are going crazy for Crayolas

Colouring books for adults

How the French are going crazy for Crayolas
Jack Thorne's play 'Hope': What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

Playwright Jack Thorne's latest work 'Hope' poses the question to audiences
Ed Harcourt on Romeo Beckham and life as a court composer at Burberry

Call me Ed Mozart

Paloma Faith, Lana del Ray... Romeo Beckham. Ed Harcourt has proved that he can write for them all. But it took a personal crisis to turn him from indie star to writer-for-hire
10 best stocking fillers for foodies

Festive treats: 10 best stocking fillers for foodies

From boozy milk to wasabi, give the food-lover in your life some extra-special, unusual treats to wake up to on Christmas morning
Phil Hughes head injury: He had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Phil Hughes had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Prolific opener had world at his feet until Harmison and Flintoff bounced him
'I have an age of attraction that starts as low as four': How do you deal with a paedophile who has never committed a crime?

'I am a paedophile'

Is our approach to sex offenders helping to create more victims?
How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

Serco given Yarl’s Wood immigration contract despite ‘vast failings’
Green Party on the march in Bristol: From a lost deposit to victory

From a lost deposit to victory

Green Party on the march in Bristol
Putting the grot right into Santa's grotto

Winter blunderlands

Putting the grot into grotto
'It just came to us, why not do it naked?' London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital

'It just came to us, why not do it naked?'

London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital