Sophie Heawood: Winslet's jaffa-cake days are numbered

Share
Related Topics

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. But even that wasn't as spectacular as the one where Kate Winslet convinced the world that she was just your average, can't stay off the jaffa cakes, baby-sick down my top, oops don't you just hate it when the sodding pushchair gouges yer leg, type of gal.

Still now, nearly 12 years after starring in the mega-blockbuster Titanic, plus getting five Oscar nominations, marrying a huge movie director and moving to the States, she gets away with the girl-next-door routine. If she had a pound for every time an interviewer called her "down-to-earth" she would be – well, actually, it wouldn't make much of a difference would it? She's bloody rich already. Her subterfuge skills are second to none. And this is why I love her.

What other mega-famous person can get away with saying things like "Oh, but to me, I mean Julia Roberts, now she's a movie star"? And get that past the journalist, because said journalist is too keen to chat about how Ms Winslet celebrated her first wedding with bangers and mash and that she's happy with her body the way it is. (Even though that "way it is" is nowadays really slim and gorgeous. And that first wedding turned out to be a bit of a mistake, unlike her second one, conducted in the movie-star glamour of a secluded Caribbean island, which wasn't.)

She is like a media comfort zone – go to Kate if you want a quote about how she eats what she likes and doesn't do any dieting (except when she needs to lose weight) and she doesn't ever exercise (apart from when she needs to get fit) and how she's still the same old English rose from Reading (except she lives in New York) and isn't it terrible about that men's magazine airbrushing her photos (when she's been an official "ambassador" for cosmetics firm Lancôme and made loads of money from being airbrushed all the time).

She's like a nice, scruffy little Italian caff that turns out to be a front for a Mafia money-laundering operation. So slick!

The thing is, it would drive most people absolutely stark staring mad to hear the same things said about themselves again and again. Most famouses, when asked such boring questions, would get in a hissy fit and claim that they've moved on.

Talk about the life journey they've been on and how they have really grown inside, as a person, you know? Not Winslet. She just lets them keep on happily banging on about bangers and mash, when, in fact, she exists solely on a diet of finest caviar spooned off silver trays held aloft by a team of slave dwarves. Well, possibly.

And now, with two big new films out – Revolutionary Road, directed by her husband, Sam Mendes, and The Reader – she is yet again up for the big awards. The Golden Globes are announced today – she has her sixth and seventh nominations. Might she win at last?

The Oscars will follow, and she's tipped to finally get her hands on one of those too. The fact that she has always been the bridesmaid and never the bride at these awards only adds to her mythology of normality – so if you need to believe in Kate Winslet as the best mate you haven't quite met yet, well, the clock is ticking, and fast.

Because once she wins, we may have to finally accept that she is a phenomenally hard-working, high achieving, endlessly versatile, superstar. And that she never, ever eats jaffa cakes.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Lead Application Developer

£80000 - £90000 per annum + competitive: Progressive Recruitment: I am current...

Senior Networks Architect

£65000 per annum + 15% Pension, Health, Travel & Bonus: Progressive Recruitmen...

SAP BW/BO Consultant

£55000 - £65000 per annum + Benefits: Progressive Recruitment: SAP BW/BO CONSU...

Hydraulic Power Pack Design Engineer

competitive: Progressive Recruitment: I recruit for contract mechanical design...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

How silly of me to assume it was Israeli bombs causing all the damage in Gaza

Mark Steel
 

Careful, Mr Cameron. Don't flirt with us on tax

Chris Blackhurst
Dress the Gaza situation up all you like, but the truth hurts

Robert Fisk on Gaza conflict

Dress the situation up all you like, but the truth hurts
Save the tiger: Tiger, tiger burning less brightly as numbers plummet

Tiger, tiger burning less brightly

When William Blake wrote his famous poem there were probably more than 100,000 tigers in the wild. These days they probably number around 3,200
5 News's Andy Bell retraces his grandfather's steps on the First World War battlefields

In grandfather's footsteps

5 News's political editor Andy Bell only knows his grandfather from the compelling diary he kept during WWI. But when he returned to the killing fields where Edwin Vaughan suffered so much, his ancestor came to life
Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart reveals she has flying robot ... to take photos of her farm

Martha Stewart has flying robot

The lifestyle guru used the drone to get a bird's eye view her 153-acre farm in Bedford, New York
Former Labour minister Meg Hillier has demanded 'pootling lanes' for women cyclists

Do women cyclists need 'pootling lanes'?

Simon Usborne (who's more of a hurtler) explains why winning the space race is key to happy riding
A tale of two presidents: George W Bush downs his paintbrush to pen father’s life story

A tale of two presidents

George W Bush downs his paintbrush to pen father’s life story
Restaurateur Mitch Tonks has given the Great Western Pullman dining car a makeover

The dining car makes a comeback

Restaurateur Mitch Tonks has given the Great Western Pullman dining car a makeover
Gallery rage: How are institutions tackling the discomfort of overcrowding this summer?

Gallery rage

How are institutions tackling the discomfort of overcrowding this summer?
Louis van Gaal has £500,000 video surveillance system installed to monitor Manchester United players

Eye on the prize

Louis van Gaal has £500,000 video surveillance system installed to monitor Manchester United players
Women's rugby: Tamara Taylor adds fuel to the ire in quest to land World Cup

Women's rugby

Tamara Taylor adds fuel to the ire in quest to land World Cup
Save the tiger: The day America’s love of backyard tigers led to a horrific bloodbath

The day America’s love of backyard tigers led to a horrific bloodbath

With only six per cent of the US population of these amazing big cats held in zoos, the Zanesville incident in 2011 was inevitable
Samuel Beckett's biographer reveals secrets of the writer's time as a French Resistance spy

How Samuel Beckett became a French Resistance spy

As this year's Samuel Beckett festival opens in Enniskillen, James Knowlson, recalls how the Irish writer risked his life for liberty and narrowly escaped capture by the Gestapo
We will remember them: relatives still honour those who fought in the Great War

We will remember them

Relatives still honour those who fought in the Great War
Star Wars Episode VII is being shot on film - and now Kodak is launching a last-ditch bid to keep celluloid alive

Kodak's last-ditch bid to keep celluloid alive

Director J J Abrams and a few digital refuseniks shoot movies on film. Simon Usborne wonders what the fuss is about
Once stilted and melodramatic, Hollywood is giving acting in video games a makeover

Acting in video games gets a makeover

David Crookes meets two of the genre's most popular voices