Perhaps it was the herd of junior marketing executives in wraparound shades, roaming freely across Windsor's Great Park. Or maybe it was the feast of sunburned cleavage picnicking on a grass verge next to the polo field. On third thoughts, was it the house music booming out from Chinawhite's marquee that gave it away? Or even that Chinawhite, that notoriously taste-free nightclub, was there at all? Polo is not posh. And the Cartier International Polo Day is a particularly low-rent event.
Yet this week the organisers snobbily banned Katie Price from paying for tickets to attend the England vs Australia match, billed as the highlight of the polo season. The glamour model (and accomplished horsewoman) was deemed "too chavvy" to tread the turf in four-inch spike heels along with the other, ahem, ladies.
Well, last summer they even let me in – and it didn't look anything like the genteel scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts slips into a demure brown dress, stops talking like a tart and treads in the divots at half-time. Oh, hang on. That was set in America.
I've no idea what polo events in Argentina, home of the sport, are like but you can be sure they're not saddled by "royal" patronage. The British tournament is a fiesta in honour of a family of freeloaders that sell their wedding photos to Hello! magazine. At Cartier, the Windsors sit in their regal hut opposite the main grandstand, from where Charles on Sunday got an excellent view of three streakers. Its sponsor is a watchmaker which is a supplier of baubles to arrivistes and sheikhs. You just don't need them, Katie.
It's got a bedroom, a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom and a small patio. It's an hour's commute from work and after I've paid the rent I wouldn't mind being able to afford to pay, say, the electricity bills. Now that it's easier to find a staunch Gordon Brown loyalist than an affordable mortgage in London, I'm stuck renting. But in the world inhabited by obdurate estate agents, viewings are between 11am and 6pm, Monday to Friday, neatly impeding lots of people with office jobs. No wonder the housing market is in such fine fettle.
In a heatwave Londoners think that drinking more booze will keep them cool. It was this idea that once inspired me to dive into the swans' bathwater that is the Round Pond in Kensington Gardens. Work is under way on the 2012 Olympic Aquatics centre. But if it's not finished in time, Seb, I've got an idea...