Tales From The Water Cooler: Thank goodness... a tiny imperfection

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The Independent Online

Those of us with unsightly disfigurements, such as large spots or odd socks, will know the all-consuming pains one has to take in order to keep them hidden. Whether carefully holding a newspaper in front of your face at all times or shuffling your feet constantly so your socks are just a blur of indistinguishable colour, it's an exhausting process.

So the Duchess of Cambridge's bravery this week at revealing a tiny childhood scar just above her hairline (she opted for a traditional but unfussy "half up, half down" do, if you're interested) is immense. It's one small coiffe for her, but one giant leap for the rest of us with glaring insecurities over minor aspects of our appearance.

You'd be forgiven for thinking Kate might get away with it, given the length of the scar is just about equal to the radius of Wills' bald patch, which we're officially no longer allowed to mention now that everybody loves the Royal family again. But the tabloids leapt on it, immediately checking with distinguished physicians whether the Duchess may once have had a brain tumour.

Most likely, the learned men said, she had a birthmark removed, thereby unwittingly replacing one physical anomaly with another. Given Kate's tendency toward bland homogeneity, this scar is practically a Hell's Angel tattoo. No wonder the press were up in arms.

But it transpires that Wills has one such blemish too, from where he was hit on the head with a golf club. (High-fives and "fore!" to whoever swung that.) So the threat of subversion is easily dealt with: Kate and Wills have his 'n' hers scars, all is right with the world.