Ding dong! In a timely reminder that love hurts, Friends of the Earth are urging plight trothers to exercise their passion responsibly, think about the 14.5 tonnes of CO2 the average wedding pumps out, and make sure that theirs is a green one.
FoE give some excellent tips - locally sourced foods, potted plants rather than cut flowers, recycled invitations - but, in the end, the eco-soundness of the wedding will depend on the determination of the couple to overcome temptations such as clocking up the air miles and doing it on a beach in Hawaii so they don't have to invite Uncle Denis. Or Auntie Rene, come to that.
Again, the bride might be unenthusiastic about carrying a potted begonia (and should take care when throwing it over her shoulder just before setting off on the walking honeymoon). Some couples, too, will baulk at earth-friendly donations instead of gifts. A possible compromise: a British Standard lagging jacket for a boiler, at £10, or a six-pack of reflective radiator panels, £24.99.
Travelling together to the church will save on heat wasted waiting. I also note that fuel-costly drag can be reduced by removing unnecessary heavy items from a vehicle, which might give the best man an opening in his eco-friendly speech for a gag about the bride's mother, or perhaps not.
With customary sensitivity, I will forbear from linking recent high-profile separations and settlements with advice about how much damage you could avoid by not bothering. And I now realise that the potted plants are for the tables, and that the recycled invitations involve slightly more than just crossing a name out. Good luck!