Tim Walker: Does Lord Justice Leveson read 'Grazia'? If not, he should

 

Share

I just don't know what to believe any more. On Tuesday morning, the latest issue of Grazia landed on my desk, its cover shouting the dreaded news: "IT'S OVER? Jen's turmoil as Justin runs back to ex." That question mark, by the way, proved crucial. Because over on the front page of the Daily Mail was the announcement that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux had, in fact, become engaged some time after Grazia went to press.

In July, the same magazine splashed on the assertion, "Katie and Tom: IT'S WAR!" That issue arrived about 12 hours after Holmes and Cruise had come to their remarkably speedy divorce settlement. Two years ago, Heat magazine led with the "shocking truth" that "heartbroken Cheryl" planned to "stand by" Ashley Cole; the couple announced that they were separating hours before the magazine reached the news-stands.

Most media outlets are criticised, quite rightly, when their reporting is wrong. Yet the glossy women's magazines get away with it week after week, by quoting their favourite celebrities' so-called friends. "Things have been so bad in the last few weeks that while they haven't actually split, it's pretty much been all but over", one of these "friends" told Grazia of Jen and Justin. "It's looking fairly unlikely they'll survive the next few weeks."

Assuming these thoroughly disloyal "friends" do exist, have they ever actually met Jen or Justin? Or Tom, or Katie, or Cheryl? Their stories are so distant from planet fact, so plainly based less on the truth than on the plots of Aniston's worst rom-coms, that it's a wonder these magazines' readers – let alone their journalists – still give them credence. Perhaps, were they forced to face the likes of Lord Justice Leveson, their defence might be that their tales are so conspicuously confected that nobody should confuse them for the truth. They're fan fiction: no more plausible than a blogger's gay-themed rewrite of Star Trek.

Robert Pattinson is reportedly depressed and drinking heavily following his split from Kristen Stewart. Really? Fame, RPattz told one prying interviewer this week, is "weird". David Cronenberg, the director of his new film Cosmopolis, elaborated on his behalf. "It's a very abstract realm," Cronenberg said, "that doesn't have a lot to do with personal reality." Now that I can believe.

t.walker@independent.co.uk

Twitter: @timwalker

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

SQL Developer (TSQL, SSRS, SSAS) Fund Manager - London

£45000 - £50000 per annum + Benefits: Harrington Starr: SQL Developer (TSQL, S...

Software Developer (JavaScript, TDD, Jasmine, Angular.JS)

Negotiable: Harrington Starr: Software Developer (JavaScript, TDD, Jasmine, An...

Front-End UI/UX Developer (HTML5, CSS, JavaScript, jQuery, Ang

£45000 - £50000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: Front-End UI/U...

C#.NET Server Side Developer (C#, XML, WCF, Unit Testing,SQL)

£30000 - £40000 per annum + benefits+bonus+package: Harrington Starr: C#.NET ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Letters: The West flounders in the Middle East morass

Independent Voices
David Tennant as Hamlet  

To vote no or not to vote no, that is the question... Although do celebrities really have the answer?

David Lister
All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

Robert Fisk: All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

Chuck Hagel and Martin Dempsey were pure Hollywood. They only needed Tom Cruise
Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

So claims an EU report which points to the Italian Mob’s alleged grip on everything from public works to property
Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

Once the poor relation, the awards show now has the top stars and boasts the best drama
What happens to African migrants once they land in Italy during the summer?

What happens to migrants once they land in Italy?

Memphis Barker follows their trail through southern Europe
French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

The ugly causeway is being dismantled, an elegant connection erected in its place. So everyone’s happy, right?
Frank Mugisha: Uganda's most outspoken gay rights activist on changing people's attitudes, coming out, and the threat of being attacked

Frank Mugisha: 'Coming out was a gradual process '

Uganda's most outspoken gay rights activist on changing people's attitudes, coming out, and the threat of being attacked
Radio 1 to hire 'YouTube-famous' vloggers to broadcast online

Radio 1’s new top ten

The ‘vloggers’ signed up to find twentysomething audience
David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

A blistering attack on US influence on British television has lifted the savvy head of Channel 4 out of the shadows
Florence Knight's perfect picnic: Make the most of summer's last Bank Holiday weekend

Florence Knight's perfect picnic

Polpetto's head chef shares her favourite recipes from Iced Earl Grey tea to baked peaches, mascarpone & brown sugar meringues...
Horst P Horst: The fashion photography genius who inspired Madonna comes to the V&A

Horst P Horst comes to the V&A

The London's museum has delved into its archives to stage a far-reaching retrospective celebrating the photographer's six decades of creativity
Mark Hix recipes: Try our chef's summery soups for a real seasonal refresher

Mark Hix's summery soups

Soup isn’t just about comforting broths and steaming hot bowls...
Tim Sherwood column: 'It started as a three-horse race but turned into the Grand National'

Tim Sherwood column

I would have taken the Crystal Palace job if I’d been offered it soon after my interview... but the whole process dragged on so I had to pull out
Eden Hazard: Young, gifted... not yet perfect

Eden Hazard: Young, gifted... not yet perfect

Eden Hazard admits he is still below the level of Ronaldo and Messi but, after a breakthrough season, is ready to thrill Chelsea’s fans
Tim Howard: I’m an old dog. I don’t get too excited

Tim Howard: I’m an old dog. I don’t get too excited

The Everton and US goalkeeper was such a star at the World Cup that the President phoned to congratulate him... not that he knows what the fuss is all about
Match of the Day at 50: Show reminds us that even the most revered BBC institution may have a finite lifespan – thanks to the opposition

Tom Peck on Match of the Day at 50

The show reminds us that even the most revered BBC institution may have a finite lifespan – thanks to the opposition