snorkelling beside me." Nicholas James quotes those lines from the Rubber Swimwear of Omar Khayyam, "the sequel to his better-known rubber hat". Len Clarke was also moved to poetry by snorkel, goggles and fridge magnet:
"Full 9.144m your MP lies, and lies and lies (and lies and lies)," writes Len Clarke. "His snorkel's full of porkie pies, And goggles hide the real surprise, At finding that the Thatcher Foundation has bid for the Internet and renamed it the Maggnet."
Hannah Kynaston suggests, in the best ablative absolute seen for ages, that with the wreck of the Titanic having been found, goggles and snorkel are ideal for anyone wishing to dive down to put a magnet on the fridge in its kitchen. Hereward Eccles adds the historical footnote that during the sinking of the Titanic, dedicated Scrabble players donned goggles and snorkels and used fridge magnets as letters to complete their game.
RJ Pickles wears goggles and snorkel in polluted streets, using the magnet to draw lead from petrol fumes. John and Fiona Earle have a similar plan, but use the magnet on a fishing-rod to obtain a tow from passing lorries. Mollie Caird sees it all as essential kit to catch the Loch Ness Monster: "After all, nobody's caught it with anything else." Geoffrey Langley has a brilliant idea which he won't tell us.
Wilnard Benison has a prize-winning idea, too long for this space. Prizes also to Len Clarke, Hannah Kynaston. Next week, corkscrews. Meanwhile, we seek uses for tortoises. Ideas should be sent to: Creativity, the Independent, 1 Canada Sq, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. Chambers Dictionary prizes for the most inspired.Reuse content