Auntie on the Net

Action! At a stroke, a government that has come to be seen as uncertain and out of touch has been rescued. David Blunkett, Secretary of State for Education, has announced the appointment of a 73-year-old former missionary as an internet agony aunt for parents.

Action! At a stroke, a government that has come to be seen as uncertain and out of touch has been rescued. David Blunkett, Secretary of State for Education, has announced the appointment of a 73-year-old former missionary as an internet agony aunt for parents.

We applaud. How often have parents, faced by one of those fierce, truculent looks, followed by a crisply negative verdict on nurturing skills and a slammed door, longed for a readily available source of calm wisdom?

And, as there is bound to be a bit of a rush for Miss Smith's services, we should like to get some of our more pressing questions in first: 1) What is so good about 3am? 2) Why do their noses run like that? 3) Why do they keep interrupting all the time? 4) Why are the words "poo" and "bum" so bloody funny? 5) Why do they always put their elbows on the table? 6) Where on earth do they pick up that bad language? 7) Why can't they wear a sensible pair of shoes, such as brogues? 8) How can they possibly like that stuff? 9) Why can't they make their own entertainment, like we did? 10) Why do they find us so irritating?