We have an extraordinary proposal to make to the England football team's supporters who are currently sojourning in Germany. Today, after taking in the Swabian Impressionists at Stuttgart's Kunstmuseum, please form an orderly queue at the Gottlieb-Daimler-Stadion.
Politely thank - in German - the English-speaking official who directs you to your seat, not forgetting to offer congratulations on his nation's defeat of Sweden yesterday.
Before the match, please rise for the British national anthem, and remain standing, in silence, for the Ecuadorian equivalent ("Salve, Oh Patria", and wait until it ends before remarking on the curiosity that the music was composed by a German).
During the game, applaud sporting excellence shown by either side, and desist from swearing in the songs selected to show off the best of our self-deprecating humour.
After the match, shake hands with and congratulate - in Spanish - the Ecuador supporters on their team's lusty display. Then enjoy a foaming stein or two, but no more, of fine German beer, and repair to your hotel in time for some light Brecht, in bed by 11.
Tomorrow, wake up without a hangover and early enough to take a short stroll before breakfast.
Come on, England. You know you can do it.Reuse content