Strange elixir

Share
+More

No matter how hard everyone tries to avoid it - and we all try, very, very hard - there is this uncomfortable, unpalatable and essential truth knocking about that will keep reasserting itself. And it is this: Life is Fatal. Given this sort of starting - and ending - point, it is hardly surprising that, in the wit and sense-of-humour area, Life also tends to go in for more than a touch of the old grim irony and snappily sardonic. Even so, we do feel that It has excelled even Itself with the latest revelation about arsenic in mineral water.

No matter how hard everyone tries to avoid it - and we all try, very, very hard - there is this uncomfortable, unpalatable and essential truth knocking about that will keep reasserting itself. And it is this: Life is Fatal. Given this sort of starting - and ending - point, it is hardly surprising that, in the wit and sense-of-humour area, Life also tends to go in for more than a touch of the old grim irony and snappily sardonic. Even so, we do feel that It has excelled even Itself with the latest revelation about arsenic in mineral water.

Mineral water! The Very Cipher of the Age of Heightened Health Awareness. Who has not seen the trim person, moving at pace, clutching a bottle of mineral water; and who has not understood the accompanying message: I look after myself, I value my body; not for me the depredations of couch, chip shop, and chocolate; I want to live, lengthily!

So. You will be looking here for consolation, solace, alternatives. Well, we could suggest, dutifully, yet again, the benefits of moderation. But, frankly, we rather prefer a wry smile, or even, in the face of Life, a laugh. They do say it's the best medicine, you know.

React Now

Day In a Page

Read Next
Brave Ingrid engaged a man holding a meat cleaver in conversation until police arrived  

The bravery of women shames men

Janet Street-Porter
Relishing the challenge: Najmaldin Karim in his Kirkuk office  

'Baghdad likes to live from crisis to crisis': Civil war looms in Iraq

Patrick Cockburn
Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

In his first interview since 'plebgate', the former Chief Whip opens up just enough to concede that, in politics, you have to take the rough with the smooth
Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

Special report: Met police call for criminal inquiry into former diplomat's Cayman Islands rule
Fallen angel: Winona Ryder on bouncing back from her decade in the wilderness

Fallen angel: Winona Ryder bounces back

She owned the 1990s... but then she disappeared. Now, Ms Ryder is back with quite the bang in her latest role, as the wife of a notorious real-life Mob hitman.
Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

The director's new film, 'Venus in Fur', is one of the raciest on offer
Rev Richard Coles: 'I don’t have any concerns that God is cross with me for being gay and eventually the Church won’t either'

Rev Richard Coles on the Church and homosexuality

The mellifluous, erudite and witty Coles is the nation's most pop-culture-friendly priest
'Baghdad likes to live from crisis to crisis': Civil war looms in Iraq

Patrick Cockburn: Civil war looms in Iraq

The governor of Kirkuk - one of the country's most violent but successful provinces - fears the worst
Written on the body: Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials

Written on the body

Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials
Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

The IoS marks the sixtieth anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first reaching the peak of the highest mountain on Earth
A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

Rupert Cornwell: A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

The destructive power of tornadoes will be as nothing once the Great Plains' vast underground water reserve dries up
Every creature's needless death diminshes us all

Philip Hoare: Every creature's needless death diminishes us all

A 60 per cent decline in our national species should alarm us, yet few of us act. But to mind more about animals would reflect well on society
Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground - and the monks at the heart of it

Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground

Six years ago, the world cheered the monks behind Burma’s Saffron Revolution. Now, a horrific new eruption of religious slaughter is being blamed on a 'Buddhist Bin Laden'.
Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

You can’t always depend on the weather – but you can avoid the pitfalls of the British barbecue by preparing an elaborate outdoor feast indoors ahead of time...
The Calvin report: Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance

The Calvin report

Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance
10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

Warren Gatland's squad fly Down Under aiming to do justice to the expectations – and hoping the Wallabies stay in the pub
The Last Word: Golf must end the hypocrisy before its halo slips totally

The Last Word

Golf must end the hypocrisy before its halo slips totally