We’ve conquered one corner of the US. Now for some others

 

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The Americans might have kicked us out in 1776, but let’s note a small victory we’ve just been awarded by The New York Times: the US media landscape, it says, is increasingly dominated by Fleet Street veterans. It doesn’t quite make up for what happened at Yorktown, but it’s a start.

There’s no need to stop there. Might an injection of old-school MI6 reserve stiffen spines in the crisis-ridden CIA? Should the endlessly boring brutes of American football be replaced by our refined cricketers? Or if poor little North West’s ridiculous moniker has soured America to its own celebrity babies, could we export a more conservatively named royal bump?

There are plenty of other fields where we might be able to help, and we would be more than happy to do so. But here’s the deal, America: if we do, you have to promise to keep Piers Morgan.

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