Wrong number

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As if the twin-metatarsal catastrophe of Gary Neville and David Beckham weren't a big enough blow to England's chances in the World Cup, it seems the coup de grâce is about to be delivered. Ant and Dec have been selected to sing the England World Cup song. These Geordie wags, who started out on the children's TV show Byker Grove, have defied all attempts to banish them to that nether world of panto and voiceovers. And now this. We would remind readers that this pair has form; a series of musical crimes in the mid-1990s including the "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" and "Crazy Cats".

Surely our music industry is not so moribund that these are the best artists on offer. Even a re-release of England midfielder John Barnes's rap, which featured at the heart of our least-bad World Cup song, 1990's World in Motion, would be easier on the ear than Ant and Dec.