Zebra crossing

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The Independent Online

At last! We were getting worried; midsummer had passed,

At last! We were getting worried; midsummer had passed, but there was still no sign of it amid the usual mayhem and any number of both bald and hirsute hopeful Conservatives. Imagine the relief, then, when we saw the report about the small striped creature that had resulted from a zebra crossing with a Shetland pony – yes, the first silly season story of the season had arrived!

And not a bad one, at that: plenty of the important "ah" cuddly factor; just the right amount of sex; the hard luck element (born at a Cumbrian wildlife park closed by foot-and-mouth); some entertaining peripheral stuff (typically, the zebra father has gone off with a travelling circus); and the all-important extra ingredient, the need for a name.

They are having a competition to choose it. Contenders so far: the Shebra, the Zetland, the Zony (good potential sponsor there, particularly for the West Country). Nothing, though, to match a distant cousin, the Zonkey. We quite like the Pozy, having reluctantly concluded that the Wonderbra won't catch on. But our best, an anagram of Shetland and Zebra, captures, we feel, exactly the right exotic zoological note: the Zesthandlebar. Thank you.

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