Famous Albanian proverbs - or the triumph of madness over meaning

Share
Related Topics
Today I bring you more thoughts and sayings from the `Great Book of Albanian Wit and Wisdom'. What is Albanian wit and wisdom? Well, whereas an English proverb is brisk and sensible, an Albanian proverb is one which doesn't quite yield up its message at first glance. Nor at second or third glance, neither ...

Tea is the only meal named after a drink.

What is the difference between sticking a stamp upside down on a letter, and sticking a letter upside down on a stamp?

You can share a bed with someone but you cannot dream the same dreams.

No man is an island. However, some men are rocky peninsulas who are regularly cut off from the mainland twice a day, during breakfast time and at cocktail hour.

To keep the dust out of her hair, a cleaning woman need only put on a knotted handkerchief. To achieve the same object, a chef has to put on a white hat a foot high.

Nobody ever smiles in a self-portrait.

The swallow is said to be able to sleep while flying. But that's nothing compared with human capabilities. In the act of flying, Homo sapiens can also eat, drink, buy duty-free objects and then go to sleep during a movie with earphones on, simultaneously snoring with his mouth wide open.

A chef is not an artist, but a performer. His tragedy is that he is forced to work in a place where there is no audience.

Which came first, skipping or the skipping rope?

Next time your account is well in credit, write to your bank and tell them their borrowing is at an unacceptably high level.

The one person we can never recognise from behind is ourself.

Cookery programmes on television are not devised to bring cookery to the audience, but to bring an audience to the cook.

A dog which refuses to fetch a stick is not necessarily stupid or disobedient. He may be a very intelligent dog which has learnt that if he does fetch the stick, it will only be thrown back to the same place again.

Nobody knows where the wind comes from, says the poet. But only a poet would want to know.

The reason the car replaced the horse was not that it went further or faster, but that you could buy it on hire purchase.

Rugby players often resort to fisticuffs, but a boxing match never degenerates into a scrum or line-out.

Posterity is the name we give to the people who tear down and blow up the things we have been carefully saving for them.

Whoever it was said that you can't judge a book by its cover was not a graphic artist.

Being English is a duty, being Welsh is a struggle, being Scottish is hard work but being Irish is a full-time performance.

A painter is luckier than a sculptor. He only has to depict his subject from in front.

What does a blind pianist call the black and white keys?

Would you like to know more about the wonderful world of `Albanian Wit and Wisdom'? Just send me a blank cheque -and don't forget to sign it.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: IT Support Engineer / Systems Administrator

£25000 - £32500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Based in SW London, this compan...

Recruitment Genius: Project Coordinator

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: Due to expansion this leading designer and sup...

Recruitment Genius: Recruitment Assistant

£19000 - £21000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you a friendly, confident i...

Tradewind Recruitment: Primary Teaching Assistant

Negotiable: Tradewind Recruitment: At Tradewind Recruitment we are currently l...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

If I were Prime Minister: I would tackle our looming dementia crisis

Susan Greenfield
 

Letters: NHS data-sharing is good for patients

Independent Voices
Isis hostage crisis: The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power

Isis hostage crisis

The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power, says Robert Fisk
Missing salvage expert who found $50m of sunken treasure before disappearing, tracked down at last

The runaway buccaneers and the ship full of gold

Salvage expert Tommy Thompson found sunken treasure worth millions. Then he vanished... until now
Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Maverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
Assisted Dying Bill: I want to be able to decide about my own death - I want to have control of my life

Assisted Dying Bill: 'I want control of my life'

This week the Assisted Dying Bill is debated in the Lords. Virginia Ironside, who has already made plans for her own self-deliverance, argues that it's time we allowed people a humane, compassionate death
Move over, kale - cabbage is the new rising star

Cabbage is king again

Sophie Morris banishes thoughts of soggy school dinners and turns over a new leaf
11 best winter skin treats

Give your moisturiser a helping hand: 11 best winter skin treats

Get an extra boost of nourishment from one of these hard-working products
Paul Scholes column: The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him

Paul Scholes column

The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him
Frank Warren column: No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans

Frank Warren's Ringside

No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans
Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

Homeless Veterans appeal

MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

Comedians share stories of depression

The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

Has The Archers lost the plot?

A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

14 office buildings added to protected lists

Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee