I have assembled half a dozen of the last week's news stories from around the UK. One of them is true, the others are not. All you have to do is spot the authentic item. OK?
Right - here we go!
1. John Major's resignation honours list has been beset by behind the scenes wrangling over some of the titles bestowed - Mr Portillo, for instance, wished to be made an honorary MP, and found it hard to believe there was no such thing. Mr Major wanted to award himself a title with a cricketing flavour and opted for Lord Major-Oval. He was told that nobody could have a name hyphenated with a shape. Mr Major pointed out that his family name had been Major-Ball until it was shortened to Major, and insisted that Major-Oval was little different, just flatter. The argument continues.
2. At the 21st birthday party of Sophie Leeson, her family and friends, who are all Zen Buddhists, wished to spend the evening in meditation and tranquillity. This was made difficult by the noise in their Yorkshire village ( it was a sunny evening; people were out with lawn mowers etc ) so party guests went round everyone's houses asking them to be as quiet as possible, as there was a party going on at the Leesons.
3. A retired doctor in Warwick disrupted a local amateur dramatic play by coming on stage during a performance and helping himself to the props. The play was set in a doctor's house, and the company had borrowed some old text books and equipment from the retired doctor to use in a surgery scene. On the first night, a man had come to the retired doctor's house in pain following the accidental ingestion of paint, asking for first aid. The doctor knew that the correct treatment was in one of the loaned books, so the cast of the play were amazed when he entered the stage set and "borrowed" the book back. One of the actors had a slight heart attack, which the doctor returned to treat after dealing with the paint case.
4. A Somerset woman who appeared in court on charges of growing cannabis said that she only grew it for her pet rabbit to eat, as he preferred it to grass or salad.
Unfortunately, the rabbit had regularly gone around in a stoned stupor, which led to its becoming an easy victim for a Staffordshire bull terrier. An expert said that eating cannabis would have no ill effects on rabbits except on their long term memory, but that as rabbits seldom recited poetry this didn't really matter. Asked if he had ever seen a rabbit stoned on cannabis he said, No, but he had seen an Italian whippet on LSD.
5. A policeman arrested people involved in a street performance for causing a public nuisance - but arrested the performers when he should have arrested the "audience". He discovered the forecourt in front of Bath Abbey blocked by a hundred or more people watching two buskers, asked the buskers to move on and arrested them when they didn't. What he didn't know was that the audience was a hundred-strong street audience which travels around as a unit, hoping for things to happen. "We came across this audience standing in front of the Abbey," said one of the buskers, "so we gave them a show. They perform regularly as an audience. THEY are the show, not us."
6. A crime may have been cleared up in the USA 200 years after it was committed. Omaha dentist James Dear-born claims under hypnosis to be the reincarnation of a Frenchman who fled to the USA after the French Revolution, following a series of grisly murders in which he was involved. Amazing backing has emerged in the shape of New Yorker Joe Steinberg, who claims to be the reincarnation of a French constable sent to extradite him, and who now intends to arrest Dearborn on murders committed by his former ego.
Answer: Only Number 4 is true.Reuse content