How many hipsters do you need for an Apple upgrade?

 

Share

A lifetime of cack-handedness means I’ve spent more than my fair share of Saturdays at Apple Store Genius Bars begging them to replace a cracked screen for free, hoping they don’t notice the red moisture indicator on my phone that screams “She dropped me down the toilet!”, or waiting patiently for them to dig my Sherlock DVD out of a broken disc drive.

With my latest iPhone once again broken, I headed to the flagship store on Regent Street yesterday, readying myself for the  tricky task of trying to get a last-minute appointment with a “genius”.

As soon as I walk in, I’m set upon by three blue-shirted boys with glasses and hipster beards. I ask for an appointment and tell them it’s urgent. They usher me over to a laptop and explain that I need to book a slot online. The next one available is at 5pm. Not too bad, but I need to write my article before then, so I make pleading eyes and whine: “It really is urgent.”

“Not a problem,” says beardy No 1. “Let’s check what’s available at our Covent Garden store.” Sure enough, the shop in Covent Garden has an appointment in 30 minutes. Beardy even offers me directions.

Four Tube stops later, I’m in Covent Garden. I approach another, slightly less beardy hipster, who scrolls down her iPad and ticks off my name. “Someone will be with you in 10 minutes,” she says, herding me into the waiting area.

I entertain myself on a shiny MacBook while I wait for my genius. Bang on cue, three appear at once (do they travel in packs?) and immediately start diagnosing my iPhone.

We chat amiably about the weather and one compliments me on my sunglasses. I tell them my battery sometimes dies at 20 per cent and, true to form, after five minutes of fiddling my machine gives up and a forlorn “no battery” symbol appears on its screen. Their verdict? Time for an upgrade. It doesn’t take a genius to work that out.

The phone might be on its last legs, but at least the service was pretty good this time around.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Client Services Manager - Relationship Management - London

£30000 - £32000 per annum + benefits : Ashdown Group: A highly successful, int...

Recruitment Genius: Credit Controller / Customer Service

£18000 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This rapidly expanding business...

Recruitment Genius: Electronics Engineers / Senior Electronics Engineers

£25000 - £55000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Based in Henley-on-Thames, this...

Austen Lloyd: Private Client Solicitor - Oxford

Excellent Salary : Austen Lloyd: OXFORD - REGIONAL FIRM - An excellent opportu...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Misleading Translations: the next 40

John Rentoul
Syrian refugee 'Nour' with her two month-old daughter. She was one of the first Syrians to come to the UK when the Government agreed to resettle 100 people from the country  

Open letter to David Cameron on Syrian refugees: 'Several hundred people' isn't good enough

Independent Voices
Syria crisis: Celebrities call on David Cameron to take more refugees as one young mother tells of torture by Assad regime

Celebrities call on David Cameron to take more Syrian refugees

One young mother tells of torture by Assad regime
The enemy within: People who hear voices in their heads are being encouraged to talk back – with promising results

The enemy within

People who hear voices in their heads are being encouraged to talk back
'In Auschwitz you got used to anything'

'In Auschwitz you got used to anything'

Survivors of the Nazi concentration camp remember its horror, 70 years on
Autumn/winter menswear 2015: The uniforms that make up modern life come to the fore

Autumn/winter menswear 2015

The uniforms that make up modern life come to the fore
'I'm gay, and plan to fight military homophobia'

'I'm gay, and plan to fight military homophobia'

Army general planning to come out
Iraq invasion 2003: The bloody warnings six wise men gave to Tony Blair as he prepared to launch poorly planned campaign

What the six wise men told Tony Blair

Months before the invasion of Iraq in 2003, experts sought to warn the PM about his plans. Here, four of them recall that day
25 years of The Independent on Sunday: The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century

25 years of The Independent on Sunday

The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century
Homeless Veterans appeal: 'Really caring is a dangerous emotion in this kind of work'

Homeless Veterans appeal

As head of The Soldiers' Charity, Martin Rutledge has to temper compassion with realism. He tells Chris Green how his Army career prepared him
Wu-Tang Clan and The Sexual Objects offer fans a chance to own the only copies of their latest albums

Smash hit go under the hammer

It's nice to pick up a new record once in a while, but the purchasers of two latest releases can go a step further - by buying the only copy
Geeks who rocked the world: Documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry

The geeks who rocked the world

A new documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry
Belle & Sebastian interview: Stuart Murdoch reveals how the band is taking a new direction

Belle & Sebastian is taking a new direction

Twenty years ago, Belle & Sebastian was a fey indie band from Glasgow. It still is – except today, as prime mover Stuart Murdoch admits, it has a global cult following, from Hollywood to South Korea
America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

These days in the US things are pretty much stuck where they are, both in politics and society at large, says Rupert Cornwell
A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

A veteran of the Fifties campaigns is inspiring a new generation of activists
Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

A C Benson called him 'a horrid little fellow', George Orwell would have shot him, but what a giant he seems now, says DJ Taylor
Growing mussels: Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project

Growing mussels

Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project