The nominees are...
1. Anne Hathaway
After rushing past award presenter Clooney to collect her award for Best Supporting Actress, Hathaway doubled back on herself and gave the actor a full-body squeeze. Returning to the podium she voiced the thoughts of Clooney-fanciers everywhere: "I almost walked past George Clooney without hugging him! That's just...stupid."
2. Stephen Fry
The host made no secret of his affection for Clooney, referencing him several times throughout the ceremony and at one point describing the TV audience as "as welcome as George Clooney at a hen night"
3. The general British public
Bradley Cooper was there. So was Ben Affleck. But no one elicited quite the volume - and pitch - of screams during the meet-the-fans walkabout as Mr Clooney, himself. One woman was heard to shriek "Oh my God! He touched me!!!"
4. Telegraph film critic, Robbie Collin
This tweet from @robbiereviews may seem comparatively muted, but note the breakout capitals: "So George Clooney has just arrived and effortlessly outsuaved EVERYONE."
And the winner is...
Anne Hathaway, for getting her priorities straight: Touch Clooney first, collect BAFTA later.