@robdelaney: "Obama has some great ideas; is it ok if I simply repeat them? My memory is terrific." - Mitt Romney
@ChrisRock: I was gonna vote for [insert candidate] but after watching the debate I'm going to vote for [that exact same candidate] - Everyone
@JohnKerry: Mitt apparently had no binders on foreign policy
@Billmaher: I've seen wider ideological differences between Jehova's Witnesses
@Billmaher: Mitt's entire debate strategy: What he just said, but from a white guy
@Max_read: Pakistan looking thru the wedding album, tears running down the cheeks
@JustinMcElroy: Wait, this debate is for undecided voters who also understand foreign policy? I've sent group texts with a broader audience.
@andylevy: I just hope both candidates make it clear they think America is great
@OnionPolitics: Obama seems suspiciously knowledgeable about foreign affairs for someone born here
@Ezraklein: Barack Obama is winning this debate by being George W Bush
@realDonaldTrump: Stop congratulating Obama for killing Bin Laden. The Navy Seals killed Bin Laden.
@PiersMorgan: Nobody's winning this - both being equally safe/calm/dull