LETTER : Phone charmer

Sir: I am a subscriber to BT's Phoneminder Service, which electronically uses a recorded voice indistinguishable from Audrey Hepburn's at Tiffany's or in Rome with Gregory Peck. The intonation she puts on "No" when reporting "No messages" causes my desire to boil as of old.

Strangely, she is not so definite when, oozing charm from every pore, I invite her to dinner. Pathetically she replies: "Sorry, I didn't understand." When will BT spare us the living death of virtual reality?

PATRICK HODGKINSON

Bath