Letter: Coping with infertility

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The Independent Online
Sir: As one for whom children did not happen, I was appalled by Tricia Lewis's article ('My heartache over a baby that never comes', 12 May).

There has been a plethora of such articles over recent years, all promoting the idea that any response to infertility short of neurosis is somehow abnormal or defective. In fact, responses cover a whole range from mild relief, through various degrees of acceptance and disappointment to bitter unhappiness.

Many couples who had expected to have children are amply compensated by the alternative joys and heightened intimacy of a childless marriage with its opportunities for close relationships in the wider family and beyond. Others bear what is for them a great sorrow with dignity and fortitude and without either abusing their partners or compromising their friendships.

In spite of modern techniques, some couples will never become parents. A more balanced coverage of the topic might help such people to come to terms positively with their situation.

Yours faithfully,


Kirriemuir, Tayside