Letter: Fair shares

I WAS saddened by Aminatta Forna's article "Money doesn't grow on men" (Real Life, 20 September). Is the measure of feminism only the extent to which one can be independent of men? What of freedom of choice, which in turn should free men, who hitherto have been welded to the work place? To suggest that "relying on a man [to financially look after a woman taking care of the children] is not healthy" is to ignore the fact that men and women can be happily and successfully interdependent. Colette Dowling's book Myth of the Money Tree, referred to by Ms Forna, appears to reflect more an obsession with money as the route to power than any true search for freedom. In so doing it implies that men are disposable. My man is not disposable. He earns the money. I mother the kids. It is our money and they are our kids. Our neighbours do the same, but she earns and he looks after the kids. What feminism should give women and men is the freedom to share our money and our responsibilities as we choose.