Letter: How we saved our marriage

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The Independent Online
Sir: Regarding 'Divorce is bad for you - try again' (1 September), my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary with a large family party, and both of us agree that the 18 months since then have been the happiest of our lives. Our 28th wedding anniversary was spent in discussion at the divorce solicitor's office.

Life had become increasingly unbearable over 10 years, and when my husband finally left home I was glad to see the back of him, but it seemed such a waste. After six months' separation, he discovered that the grass was not greener on the other side and asked to come home. Everyone thought me a fool to say 'yes'.

My reasoning was: better the devil you know. The cost of divorce, both emotional and financial, seemed too heavy a price to pay, to say nothing of the stress. I feared that the children might decide to avoid us: now, a grandchild bouncing on our bed, a shared experience, is richness beyond rubies.

The suffering we have both endured, and the efforts we have had to make to live comfortably together again, have been an enriching and strengthening experience. We have had the richer and the poorer; the better and the worse; the sickness and the health; and I feel confident that now we can hold to our original vow and stay together til death us do part.

Yours faithfully,


London, N10