Letter: The last to know

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The Independent Online
Sir: Further to Su Newland's sensitive article on the exclusion of friends from the grieving process (10 February), even worse is when distant friends are not even told of the death, and only find out months or even years afterwards, usually through persistent letter writing. When communities are so fragmented, there are bound to be friends whom the family does not even know, and grief combined with disorganisation mean the address books of the deceased are unlikely to be systematically combed through.

On two occasions I have been informed very late of a friend's death. This has made me determined my friends should not suffer a similar delay were I to die. I have made an exhaustive list of people to be informed, by the executor of my will. It may reduce the sum of human misery if other people would adopt this simple idea.

Yours sincerely,

DEIRDRE KINGSMAN

Perivale, Middlesex

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