OUR DUMB CENTURY REPORTS FROM THE FRONTIERS OF HISTORY

Berlin Wall destroyed in Doritos-sponsored Super Bowl half-time spectacular

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EAST BERLIN, 22 January 1990 - Amid fireworks, stirring John Philip Sousa marching music and soaring Blue Angels jets, the Berlin Wall was torn down Sunday in a thrilling climax to "Doritos Presents A Super Salute To Freedom", the Super Bowl XXIV half-time show.

"Ladies and gentleman, let's hear it for democracy!" the announcer exclaimed, as the wall that separated East and West Berlin for nearly 30 years fell. "Let there be freedom. And enjoy Doritos. Munch all you want. We'll make more!"

More than 300,000 people gathered at the Berlin Wall for the half-time event, which symbolically ended the Cold War, entertained over a billion football fans worldwide and coincided with Doritos' launch of its new "Cool Ranch" flavour.

As mobs of East Germans pounded at the wall with sledgehammers, Frito- Lay CEO Richard Teller announced to a TV audience, "Today we crunch our way into an exciting new age. After decades of isolation and oppression, Germany can bite into the great taste of liberty at last."

Actual Berlin Wall frag-ments, as well as five collector's cups, will be made avail- able at participating Taco Bell restaurants for a limited time.

Despite its popularity among East and West Germans, the Berlin Wall half- time event was mildly received by US TV viewers, according to ADWeek magazine. Of the new advertising events making their debut during the game, viewers rated the Berlin Wall fifth behind Budweiser's BudBowl III, Pepsi's "You Got The Right One, Baby, Uh-Huh", Coors Light's Swedish Bikini Team, and Domino's "Avoid the Noid", which was rated No 1.

The above is an extract from `Our Dumb Century', a satirical history in newspaper form, edited by Scott Dikkers, and published by Boxtree, pounds 9.99.

NEXT WEEK: Oprah secedes from US, forms independent nation of cheesecake- eating housewives

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