Aries 22 Mar - 20 Apr
The Moon is better for you now than it will be. Get on with things sooner rather than later. Your energies will generate consequences you hadn't intended so don't exhaust yourself on astonishing sex and practical violence just because you feel like it. Once - but only once - restraint will be useful before Thursday.
Taurus 21 Apr - 21 May
The conjunction with the Moon towards midweek brings out your attractive qualities. Your friends and family should hurry to make the most of it. Beauty becomes important. You absorb it and radiate it. This makes you popular with those who like beauty but cynics, sceptics and sneerers (the fun people) look elsewhere. They'll be back
Gemini 22 May - 22 June
You can be too sensitive and a conjunction with Neptune isn't going to help. Your imagination produces perfections that the brutal world squashes and smothers. Your partner could help a little, frankly. Jupiter does more for you than any human agency towards the end of the week, offering you steadiness, sense and courage to endure the inevitable.
Cancer 23 June - 23 July
Your sharp tongue will cut your lips. It'll save on cosmetics, but you'll need a transfusion - if only of friendly feelings - if you keep on harbouring these cruel thoughts.
Leo 24 July - 23 Aug
Too popular too easily. You have been laying up trouble for yourself. You have relied on the goodwill of others too long. Luckily you won't need to be told this by me. A deep cunning opens up to you and you can see into the twisted hearts of your close friends. They expect stupidity from you not this penetrating intelligence. They're toast.
Virgo 24 Aug - 23 Sept
The dirty world tries to stain your beautifully laundered clothes. Stupidity is everywhere. Your enemies jeer at you. So do your friends, if only you knew. You need to punish someone close to you. Go on holiday with them, perhaps. Through willpower you can rise above it (it'll surprise those around you, allow for their disbelief).
Libra 24 Sept - 23 Oct
Gay, witty, charming, the Moon blesses you and everything you touch. Aesthetically you are in a class of your own. It's not just your laundry. If only you were appreciated properly you might be like this more often. Don't let alcohol tempt you into its filthy grip, unless you want to be discovered slobbering in the gutter.
Scorpio 24 Oct - 22 Nov
You are never more like yourself than when Pluto is fired up by the Sun. Oh, what things you can see when you put your mind to looking. X-ray vision sees through underwear, beyond the scars and into the beating heart of the matter. Knowledge is power and you have, for a moment, the apparatus to support megalomania.
Sagittarius 23 Nov - 22 Dec
This is more like it! A trine with Mercury lets your affable nature expand. You understand fairness and honour. This makes you popular with likeminded souls (if only you knew more of them). Make sure as many people see you like this as possible. Go forth and be seen! Opportunities will abound.
Capricorn 23 Dec - 19 Jan
The world has moved away from you. It won't come back. You have to change direction if you want to join in any more (perhaps you don't, it's an even bet either way).
Aquarius 20 Jan - 19 Feb
Maybe you know some little bar to go to where they never close? Down town! Go and have some fun, right the balance of the world's misery.
Pisces 20 Feb - 21 Mar
If you are going to be this sensitive you better lay in stocks of anaesthetics. Bourbon works best. Your ideals come under pressure at work. You think you can cope but your ideas turn out to be flawed and that is more wounding. You can believe what you choose to believe, but be very careful because you only get three goes at it.