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"I'm delighted my shows have gone down so well here. It probably means they are equally incomprehensible in any language." - Harry Enfield, comedian, after being given the top comedy award at the Montreux TV festival.

"Doing Blair was definitely difficult at first, but he is getting so messianic now it is a lot easier." - Rory Bremner, impressionist.

"A drunk man is more likely to find a woman attractive. So, if all else fails, get him drunk." - Dr Patrick McGhee, who coaches women on dating techniques.

"It is like being at an England vs All Blacks rugby match and you are the ball. Everyone wants to kill you." - Nigel Montford, a traffic warden, on the perils of his job.

"I might well use 'newt' in my slogan, but I certainly wouldn't use 'New'." - Ken Livingstone, distinctly Old Labour MP and breeder of amphibians, on his prospects of becoming London mayor.

"I'm just so excited - it's wonderful - and a very good quality wine here." - Wendy Richard, EastEnders actress, after meeting the Queen for the first time.

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