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The Independent Online
I would cheerfully vote for any amendment saying that the moon was made of blue cheese if it had a chance of being carried and wrecking the Maastricht treaty - Lord Tebbit

Lord Tebbit is fast becoming the Tony Benn of the Tory party - only without the intellect - Terry Dicks, Conservative MP

They just didn't play cricket - the Champagne Bureau in France, following a British vineyard's court victory to market Elderflower Champagne

I'm in favour if it starts with the Cabinet, who haven't done a decent day's work in 14 years - Ken Livingstone, when asked if the unemployed should be made to work for their dole money

The sexual restraint of chastity is the only safe and virtuous way to put an end to the tragic plague of Aids - the Pope

Arthur always said it was harder being black than having Aids - Billie Jean King on the death of the former Wimbledon champion Arthur Ashe

I think it is very fair - or, can I add, it's as fair as taxation is fair to any of us - Michael Peat, the Royal Household's director of finance and property services, on the Queen paying taxes

John Smith has turned his back not just on socialism, but on social democracy - Alex Salmond, leader of the Scottish National Party

This may not be the most perfect evening for you - David Elstein of BSkyB, before a showing of the television version of 'Diana: Her True Story'. The audience constantly laughed at its inaccuracies

Sex is like Big Ben. I'm glad it's there, and if I were less tired, I could go and have a look at it - Marcelle d'Argy Smith, editor of 'Cosmopolitan'

In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists do take religion more seriously than the practitioners - Jonathan Miller

Aaawww, how could you ask me that question? I am a gentleman - Michael Jackson, when asked if he was a virgin

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