Quote Unquote

Schools have had 30 years when comparative religion, ethnic folk tales and do-goodery have ousted Christian teaching. We have deprived children of a Christian country of their heritage - John Gummer, Minister of Agriculture and a member of the General Synod

I do not find it very helpful when elderly politicians dust off their Boadicea equipment and ask other people to go and die - Michael Hare Duke, the Bishop of St Andrews, on Baroness Thatcher's call for military intervention in Bosnia

I tell Americans they have to curtsy to me - Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber

If I am spared perhaps another 20 years, I might paint something rather good - John Napper, 75- year-old Royal portrait painter

Unfortunately, I have probably just got one of those visages that doesn't sit easily and comfortably with people - Jeremy Beadle, who believes he has a face that makes people dislike him on sight

Neither Reg nor Ron would ever condone crime and they are not trying to influence kids - Richard Driscoll, business partner of the Kray brothers, on plans for a computer game based on their activities

The Church has failed, education has gone to pot and the family doctor has disappeared, so people turn to myself and Princess Diana - Barbara Cartland, disclosing that she receives 30,000 letters a year asking for advice or money

I want justice to be done more politely. Some comments apparently regarded as brilliant in court would be thought no more than rude in a public house at closing time - Roy Hattersley

After the war we will make furniture again, but for now it is our duty to make coffins - Hajrudin Srna, technical director of a Sarajevo carpentry firm that is almost out of wood for coffins

There are times when the job definitely affects my appetite - but it's the best way I know to lose weight - Sheila Scott, lavatory attendant