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At last, Wales is no longer going to be used as John Redwood's personal political laboratory - Alex Carlile, Welsh Lib Dem leader.

I cannot see why Tory women are supposed to die for Michael Portillo's good looks. The man has revoltingly greasy hair, a disgustingly pudgy nose, no discernible chin and a permanent expression of smugness - Harry Enfield, comedian.

He cared passionately about peace and nothing about revenge - Colin Parry, father of Warrington blast victim Tim, on the late peace campaigner Gordon Wilson, whose daughter was killed by the IRA.

Spitting indiscriminately is a filthy habit and it was an unfortunate coincidence that Darren Gough unthinkingly expectorated at the wrong time, giving the false impression it was directed at Ian Bishop - John Reid, match referee, clearing England paceman Gough of spitting at his West Indies rival at Lord's.

If Margaret Beckett were a doctor, they would strike her off - Virginia Bottomley, Secretary of State for Health.

I would have thought Hugh Grant would have plenty of money for a hotel room - Cynthia Payne, former brothel keeper.