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The Independent Online
It is odd meeting someone who is sleeping with your wife. But what do you say to a man who has killed a lion with his bare hands? - Michael Mason, after his wife's holiday romance with a Masai warrior

They are no longer in the real world. Such advice defies belief - David Wilkinson, director of Bradford Chamber of Commerce, on Yorkshire Water's advice that firms should extend staff holidays to save water

In theory, if cars in congested traffic slow down to a steady speed, they will reach their destinations sooner - Edmund King, RAC spokesman, on variable speed limits

Every day 370,000 women ride minibuses and if 10 men brush against them intentionally or by mistake, 3.7 million accountable sins are committed every day - Mohammad Ali Tarfa, head of Tehran's public transport authority, on plans to segregate men and women on buses

Good spin-doctors will win or lose the next election depending on how they handle their particular troupe of puppets. There is still time for either side - Michael Shea, former press secretary to the Queen