QUOTE UNQUOTE

Politicians are the most despicable human subspecies I have come across in a long and varied life - Sir James Goldsmith, founder of the Referendum Party.

When I first entered Parliament in 1959, I thought I was joining the best club in London. Today one might as well sign the book at Raymond's Revue Bar - Sir Julian Critchley, Tory MP.

Conkers players tend to peak older - John Ball, the 74-year-old pensioner crowned men's champion at this year's World Conker Championships.

I must confess that most of the time I do not understand my own regulations - Emma Bonino, the European Union Fisheries Commissioner.

Not only is it true, but I understand that in the Tory Party today it is compulsory - Nicholas Soames, Armed Forces Minister, asked in the Commons if it was true that bromide was still given to servicemen to control their sexual urges.

Well done, Clare. We're all bloody human! - Van driver to Clare Short, who was posing with the son she gave up for adoption.

We have become the overtime capital of Europe, with many people being forced to work long hours through no choice of their own ... We are witnessing a return to the days of the Victorian workhouse - Stephen Byers, Labour employment spokesman.