If in doubt, whack 'em out.

TV presenter Denise Van Outen, who, it is alleged, recently flashed her breasts at the Prince of Wales.

No way would I vote for him. I'm a man's man.

Kensington and Chelsea voter George Best on Michael Portillo's candidacy for the newly vacant seat.

They'd just be a distraction. We'd be looking at them all the time.

Private Paul Aycock on women in the army.

I told Tony Blair that our relationship is like Eric and Ernie. Every time Eric needs to raise a laugh he slaps little Ernie around the face.

TUC General Secretary John Monk.

It was with great shock that I learnt of this catastrophe.

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder on a TV show that portrayed him with breasts with pierced nipples and a spiked dog collar.