Quotes of the week

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The Independent Online
Choosing one of Al Gore's best jokes is a little like deciding on Richard Branson's most modest act.

Derek Draper

Former lobbyist Uri Geller says he does his spoon-bending by divine means. I do it by tricks. If he's doing it by divine means then he's doing it the hard way.

James Randi

Investigator of paranormal

There is general acceptance by the international community that Israel has effectively legalised the use of torture.

Amnesty International

For the Conservative Party the stakes could not be higher. If we lost this ballot we could be out of office for a generation.

William Hague on his party's ballot on the single currency

The worst thing that the current political crisis could bring is civil war, for surely blood always divides.

Alexei II, head of the Russian Orthodox church

I expect that extremists turn to animal rights from a lack of the more worthwhile causes of the past, like nuclear disarmament.

Prof Stephen Hawking

We have had a problem with Gordon. Every time he has met us, we've suffered from an extended spinning period in advance when the world at large has been told that what we were going to say to him was rubbish.

John Edmonds, leader of the GMB union on its relationship with the Chancellor

Rupert Murdoch will rape and pillage Manchester United.

Andy Walsh, chairman of the Manchester United Independent Supporters' Association

Toeing the line is something that does not need to be enforced. We've done it so many times that it just comes naturally.

Sun journalist on its proprietor's bid for the football club

So he bit some guy's ear off. He's done his time, and he's good for boxing.

Former boxer Lloyd Honeyghan supporting Mike Tyson's application for a new boxing licence