Quotes of the week

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Our ambitions to limit taxes on the least well off are far from satisfied.

John Major, Prime Minister

Come and sort my mum out - she won't give me any jelly.

Richard Powell, aged four, dialling 999 in what police logged as a 'jelly- related domestic'

Howard is everything a woman could want in a husband. We make each other smile and that's all

that matters.

Anna Nicole Smith on her 89-year- old multi-millionaire spouse

As technology progresses, I am retreating to more primitive methods. I used to type, but now I write by hand.

George Melly, jazz musician

I feel so lucky I want someone to go out and put a bet on something for me.

PC Bob Hallett, speaking from hospital after being shot in the back by a suspected burglar

I wonder whether Salman Rushdie would have written The Satanic Verses if he had been born as handsome as Imran Khan.

P D James, novelist