Quotes of the week

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His whole pride and joy is on display. He looks magnifique. You English can be proud of him.

'Paris Match' employee, describing nude photos of the Prince of Wales

Naomi's only 23 and she's not Tolstoy, so to speak.

Alex Lankaster, Heinemann publicist, explaining why Naomi Campbell needed help with her novel

The programme of installing new switchboards means that more callers now get through and have to be dealt with.

Benefits agency managers, explaining why they have a crisis

It would be embarrassing for the public to give evidence.

Keith Thomas, prosecutor, opening a case against a man who sold pills that were said to enlarge the penis

We've got this great institution - the monarchy - so why are people telling lies about it?

Buckingham Palace spokesman

I am proud to be the first Balliol graduate to become TUC president - the last unclimbed peak of British life for the college.

Leif Mills