Quotes of the week

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She has taken attention away from the efforts of her husband to take the monarchy into the 21st century . . . (His views) are of vastly greater importance and will have vastly greater affect on the future acceptability of monarchy.

Harold Brooks-Baker of 'Burke's Peerage', on the Princess of Wales's announcement that she is cutting down on her public duties

We keep a selection of old boys' ties, so lawyers can pick out the appropriate one to keep the judge happy. One day you can be the Old Etonian and the next day a Pauline.

Mark Stephens, London solicitor

It was really quite a shock. I hadn't seen his willy since he was two- and-a-half.

Maggie Smith talking to John Osborne about seeing her son Toby in 'The Camomile Lawn'

Follow that train.

Police to cabman of a tube train when a driverless Piccadilly line train sped off with 150 passengers

No one has been able to complete a portrait of me. Many famous painters have tried but they have all found me unpaintable.

Peter Lilley, Social Security secretary, at his wife's painting exhibition