Ten by ten, or a handy guide to living without worry

Share
Related Topics
Ten Things You Should Always Avoid Doing

Taking the last chocolate in the box

Taking home that wine that seemed so great on holiday

Eating any sausages served in any hotel breakfast

Drinking any white wine served in a pub

Resorting to any medicine in your bathroom cupboard that hasn't been bought in the past week

Reading any publications that claim to be "Lifestyle Magazines"

Putting on yesterday's shirt in the fond hope that it will probably last one more day before washing

Getting in touch with those people you met on holiday

Thinking that whatever you are doing is unobserved

Ten Words Which Are Only Seen Written Down And Never Heard In Conversation

Accidie

Anomie

Discrete

Asafoetida

Phatic

Limn

Maffick

Steatopgyic

Tsk Tsk

Sic

Ten Things We Give To People When We Can't Think Of Anything To Give to Them

Devices for pulling gum boots off with

A bottle of sparkling wine

Book tokens

Magazine subscriptions

Chocolates

Michael Palin's latest book

Small amounts of money

Home-made jars of chutney

Flowers

That thing we were given by someone last Christmas which we could never find a use for

Ten words Ruined By Overuse in Advertising

Pedigree

Vintage

Premium

Quality

Super

Heritage

Prime

Unique

Cleanse

Economy

Ten Phrases That Indicate That Somebody Is About To Evade The Question They Have Just Been Asked

"Well ... "

"That's a fair question..."

"Let me put it this way ..."

"I think what we should be asking ourselves is this ..."

"What we have always said is this ..."

"Look ..."

"That's an interesting question."

"Absolutely. On the other hand. ..."

"Gosh - isn't that a green woodpecker over there?"

"Heavens - is that the time?"

Ten Things That Got Misplaced

The Lost Chord

Paradise Lost

One of Our Spies

My Heart (in San Francisco)

The Lost Tribe of Israel

The Land that Time forgot

The Lost Boys

Absent Friends

The Unknown Soldier

Beethoven's Penny

Ten Bisexual Names, Equally Available to Both Men and Women

Vivian

Shirley

Lesley

Hilary

Robin

Francis

Pat

Kim

Laurie

Jerry

Ten Foreign Words Sprinkled In Tedious Conversations The Same Way As Grated Chocolate Is Sprinkled on Fake Capuccino Coffee

Genre

Noir

Zeitgeist

Gestalt

Auteur

Chutzpah

Angst

Kafkaesque

Gemutlichkeit

Omerta

Ten Things That We Believe In Because They Have Been Given A Name Though They Probably Don't Exist

Post-modernism

New Labour

John Major's Classless Society

The Northern Ireland Peace Process

The Gay Community

The British Film Industry

Informed Opinion

The Chattering Classes

Peace-loving Nations

Life After Death

Ten Meanings For Which There Is No Word

Nail clippings which have become so embedded in your jersey that they are now part of its texture

To ascribe erroneously to Dorothy Parker

The act of talking to a parrot without getting an answer

A fake baguette made with dull English flour

The act of flashing your headlights at cars coming the other way to indicate that there is a police speed trap round the corner

The act of following the course of a disused railway with your eye as you drive along a motorway

The empty plate which the waiter removes from your place as you sit down in a restaurant

A food stain which is exactly the same colour as the garment it is on

An innate inability to locate Radio 5 on the dial

The act of trying to read the front pages of every other newspaper in a newsagents while you are buying your own paper.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Opilio Recruitment: QA Automation Engineer

£30k - 38k per year + Benefits: Opilio Recruitment: An award-winning consume...

Opilio Recruitment: UX & Design Specialist

£40k - 45k per year + Benefits: Opilio Recruitment: A fantastic opportunity ...

Opilio Recruitment: Publishing Application Support Analyst

£30k - 35k per year + Benefits: Opilio Recruitment: We’re currently re...

Opilio Recruitment: Digital Marketing Manager

£35k - 45k per year + benefits: Opilio Recruitment: A fantastic opportunity ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
A Pokot woman holds a razor blade after performing a circumcision on four girls  

The campaigns to end FGM are a welcomed step, but they don't go far enough

Charlotte Rachael Proudman
Our political system is fragmented, with disillusioned voters looking to the margins for satisfaction  

Politics of hope needed to avert flight to margins

Liam Fox
Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: ‘We give them hope. They come to us when no one else can help’

Christmas Appeal

Meet the charity giving homeless veterans hope – and who they turn to when no one else can help
Should doctors and patients learn to plan humane, happier endings rather than trying to prolong life?

Is it always right to try to prolong life?

Most of us would prefer to die in our own beds, with our families beside us. But, as a GP, Margaret McCartney sees too many end their days in a medicalised battle
Thomas Cook's outgoing boss Harriet Green got by on four hours sleep a night - is that what it takes for women to get to the top?

What does it take for women to get to the top?

Thomas Cook's outgoing boss Harriet Green got by on four hours sleep a night and told women they had to do more if they wanted to get on
Christmas jumper craze: Inside the UK factory behind this year's multicultural must-have

Knitting pretty: British Christmas Jumpers

Simmy Richman visits Jack Masters, the company behind this year's multicultural must-have
French chefs have launched a campaign to end violence in kitchens - should British restaurants follow suit?

French chefs campaign against bullying

A group of top chefs signed a manifesto against violence in kitchens following the sacking of a chef at a Paris restaurant for scalding his kitchen assistant with a white-hot spoon
Radio 4 to broadcast 10-hour War and Peace on New Year's Day as Controller warns of cuts

Just what you need on a New Year hangover...

Radio 4 to broadcast 10-hour adaptation of War and Peace on first day of 2015
Cuba set to stage its first US musical in 50 years

Cuba to stage first US musical in 50 years

Claire Allfree finds out if the new production of Rent will hit the right note in Havana
Christmas 2014: 10 best educational toys

Learn and play: 10 best educational toys

Of course you want them to have fun, but even better if they can learn at the same time
Paul Scholes column: I like Brendan Rodgers as a manager but Liverpool seem to be going backwards not forwards this season

Paul Scholes column

I like Brendan Rodgers as a manager but Liverpool seem to be going backwards not forwards this season
Lewis Moody column: Stuart Lancaster has made all the right calls – now England must deliver

Lewis Moody: Lancaster has made all the right calls – now England must deliver

So what must the red-rose do differently? They have to take the points on offer 
Cameron, Miliband and Clegg join forces for Homeless Veterans campaign

Cameron, Miliband and Clegg join forces for Homeless Veterans campaign

It's in all our interests to look after servicemen and women who fall on hard times, say party leaders
Millionaire Sol Campbell wades into wealthy backlash against Labour's mansion tax

Sol Campbell cries foul at Labour's mansion tax

The former England defender joins Myleene Klass, Griff Rhys Jones and Melvyn Bragg in criticising proposals
Nicolas Sarkozy returns: The ex-President is preparing to fight for the leadership of France's main opposition party – but will he win big enough?

Sarkozy returns

The ex-President is preparing to fight for the leadership of France's main opposition party – but will he win big enough?
Is the criticism of Ed Miliband a coded form of anti-Semitism?

Is the criticism of Miliband anti-Semitic?

Attacks on the Labour leader have coalesced around a sense that he is different, weird, a man apart. But is the criticism more sinister?
Ouija boards are the must-have gift this Christmas, fuelled by a schlock horror film

Ouija boards are the must-have festive gift

Simon Usborne explores the appeal - and mysteries - of a century-old parlour game