The Pope in Cuba, via CJD, Robin Cook and the contents of the millennium Dome

Related Topics
How well do YOU keep up with the news? Are you in touch with the corridors of power, or are you trapped in the broom cupboard of ignorance ? Have you got your finger on the pulse of the American public or have you been arrested for putting your hand on their wrist?

Well, if you think you are reasonably well versed in what's what and who's doing it to whom, we challenge you to take our monthly news quiz! All you have to do is read the following questions and then answer them.

OK, here we go:

1. If President Clinton went on television and said that he was resigning as the US President, how would we know if he were telling the truth or not?

2. The US has forbidden all foreign trade with Cuba. The Pope has recently disobeyed this order by going on a goodwill mission to Havana. Washington has therefore slapped a trade embargo on the the Papacy, and forbidden all international trade with the Vatican. President Clinton has, as it were, excommunicated the Pope. True or false?

3. Fearful of a future trade embargo, the Vatican has long ago transferred all its manufacturing base out of the Vatican, so that it doesn't actually export anything from there. True or false?

4. Saddam Hussein has always suspected that Iraq might be subject to a surprise military attack, as indeed it was, by Iran. Therefore he has developed secret weapons to neutralise such a surprise military attack. The US has insisted on its right (via the UN) to neutralise such secret weapons. Saddam Hussein disputes this right. The US is therefore planning a secret military attack on Iraq to prove him wrong. But Saddam Hussein will say that such a secret military attack will show that he was right all along to be prepared for it. Can you spot the logical flaw, if any, in the above statement?

5. Which of the following are now known to be real, and which are thought to be fictional? a) The Northern Ireland Peace Process b) The Global Warming Process c) The Robin Cook Love Process d) The Bill Clinton Sex Process.

6. It is commonly thought that the Vatican did not, in fact, have any export trade and therefore could not be subject to a trade embargo. However, they sell millions of dollars worth of Catholic souvenirs every year, all in the worst possible taste, and the manufacture of these has now been transferred from the Holy See to safe Catholic countries such as Mexico and ... well, Mexico, and registered under false names to protect the Pope. True or false?

7. Which of the following has been chosen to be stored and displayed in the Millennium Dome? a) Two Fat Ladies b) The 1997 Labour manifesto, with certain pages torn out c) The entire Government VIP lounge from Heathrow Airport. d) A St Francis of Assisi cocktail shaker.

8. CJD stands for what? a) Criminal Justice Department b) Crate of Jack Daniels c) Co-starring Jack Dee d) "Cranberry Juice" Delia e) Cunningham, Jack, so-called "Doctor".

9. During his recent visit to Cuba, which was staged ostensibly for religious reasons, the Pope in fact fixed a multi-million deal with Castro whereby the lucrative Catholic souvenir trade would have its manufacturing base in Cuba from now on. True or false?

10. Which Robin Cook would you rather be? a) The American author of books such as Coma b) The British author of such books as He Died With His Eyes Open c) The character featured in the nursery rhyme: "All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing, / When they heard of the extremely tangled private love life of Cook, Robin" d) Any other Robin Cook.

First correct entry receives a prize of an effigy of the Blessed Virgin Mary which is usable as a cigarette lighter, marked `Fabricado en Cuba'.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Senior Risk Manager - Banking - London - £650

£600 - £650 per day: Orgtel: Conduct Risk Liaison Manager - Banking - London -...

Commercial Litigation Associate

Highly Attractive Package: Austen Lloyd: CITY - COMMERCIAL LITIGATION - GLOBAL...

Systems Manager - Dynamics AX

£65000 - £75000 per annum + Benefits: Progressive Recruitment: The client is a...

Service Delivery Manager (Software Development, Testing)

£40000 - £45000 per annum: Ashdown Group: A well-established software house ba...

Day In a Page

Read Next
The economy expanded by 0.8 per cent in the second quarter of 2014  

British economy: Government hails the latest GDP figures, but there is still room for skepticism over this 'glorious recovery'

Ben Chu
Comedy queen: Miranda Hart has said that she is excited about working on the new film  

There is no such thing as a middle-class laugh

David Lister
Evan Davis: The BBC’s wolf in sheep’s clothing to take over at Newsnight

The BBC’s wolf in sheep’s clothing

What will Evan Davis be like on Newsnight?
Finding the names for America’s shame: What happens to the immigrants crossing the US-Mexico border without documents who never make it past the Arizona desert?

Finding the names for America’s shame

The immigrants crossing the US-Mexico border without documents who never make it past the Arizona desert
Inside a church for Born Again Christians: Speaking to God in a Manchester multiplex

Inside a church for Born Again Christians

As Britain's Anglican church struggles to establish its modern identity, one branch of Christianity is booming
Rihanna, Kim Kardashian and me: How Olivier Rousteing is revitalising the house of Balmain

Olivier Rousteing is revitalising the house of Balmain

Parisian couturier Pierre Balmain made his name dressing the mid-century jet set. Today, Olivier Rousteing – heir to the house Pierre built – is celebrating their 21st-century equivalents. The result? Nothing short of Balmania
Cancer, cardiac arrest, HIV and homelessness - and he's only 39

Incredible survival story of David Tovey

Tovey went from cooking for the Queen to rifling through bins for his supper. His is a startling story of endurance against the odds – and of a social safety net failing at every turn
Backhanders, bribery and abuses of power have soared in China as economy surges

Bribery and abuses of power soar in China

The bribery is fuelled by the surge in China's economy but the rules of corruption are subtle and unspoken, finds Evan Osnos, as he learns the dark arts from a master
Commonwealth Games 2014: Highland terriers stole the show at the opening ceremony

Highland terriers steal the show at opening ceremony

Gillian Orr explores why a dog loved by film stars and presidents is finally having its day
German art world rocked as artists use renowned fat sculpture to distil schnapps

Brewing the fat from artwork angers widow of sculptor

Part of Joseph Beuys' 1982 sculpture 'Fettecke' used to distil schnapps
BBC's The Secret History of Our Streets reveals a fascinating window into Britain's past

BBC takes viewers back down memory lane

The Secret History of Our Streets, which returns with three films looking at Scottish streets, is the inverse of Benefits Street - delivering warmth instead of cynicism
Joe, film review: Nicolas Cage delivers an astonishing performance in low budget drama

Nicolas Cage shines in low-budget drama Joe

Cage plays an ex-con in David Gordon Green's independent drama, which has been adapted from a novel by Larry Brown
How to make your own gourmet ice lollies, granitas, slushy cocktails and frozen yoghurt

Make your own ice lollies and frozen yoghurt

Think outside the cool box for this summer's tempting frozen treats
Ford Fiesta is UK's most popular car of all-time, with sales topping 4.1 million since 1976

Fiesta is UK's most popular car of all-time

Sales have topped 4.1 million since 1976. To celebrate this milestone, four Independent writers recall their Fiestas with pride
10 best reed diffusers

Heaven scent: 10 best reed diffusers

Keep your rooms smelling summery and fresh with one of these subtle but distinctive home fragrances that’ll last you months
Commonwealth Games 2014: Female boxers set to compete for first time

Female boxers set to compete at Commonwealth Games for first time

There’s no favourites and with no headguards anything could happen
Five things we’ve learned so far about Manchester United under Louis van Gaal

Five things we’ve learned so far about United under Van Gaal

It’s impossible to avoid the impression that the Dutch manager is playing to the gallery a little