true gripes bare feet

Share
Related Topics
It's true that there are real-life foot fetishists, but they mercifully know how to toe the line on secrecy. On the whole, more people loathe feet than like them, probably because nasty, smelly things tend to happen down there. Feet are utterly repulsive and we should be grateful that the things are stuck on the furthest extremity of the body where they can hum away, happily distant from the more delicate sense organs.

Unfortunately, photographers and editors have a love/love relationship with exposed feet and the things are everywhere you look these days. Granted, models have always gone for that Sandie Shaw look, as though being able to afford a designer suit means you have to look down-at-heel. But naked tootsies are definitely on the increase, as exemplified by the recent TV advert for children's shoes involving pre-pubescent feet looking, it has to be admitted, far happier out of their leather shrouds than in.

Actors, ever keen to bare their soles, have also got in on the act and it's now regulation interview practice for them to whip their socks off for the camera, in order to illustrate their life story/latest movie with a bit of gratuitous ground- level nudity.

And now, horror, Independent columnists have joined in this feet of endurance, showing off their literary genius by miming a trip to the seaside. But will the chance to scrutinise their corns and bunions really add to our enjoyment of their writing talents? Of course not. We do not need this kind of trendy, in-yer-face nudism over our cornflakes. Going barefoot outside the privacy of your own home is absolutely unnatural: if God had wanted us to be born naked below the ankle, he'd never have invented Dolcis.

What people fail to realise is that shoes are the best indicators of character. How would we know we'd encountered Essex Girl, for instance, if it wasn't for her white stilettos with that little bow on her blistered ankle? Or how could we tell that the smoothie on the doorstep is a salesman if we're denied a peek at his tassel-topped slip-ons?

Bare feet should be left in the foot-spa where they belong. The world would be a better place if everyone could emulate the sensible Jo Brand and keep their Docs and socks on.

React Now

  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Junior Web Designer - Client Liaison

£6 per hour: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity to join a gro...

Recruitment Genius: Service Delivery Manager

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: A Service Delivery Manager is required to join...

Recruitment Genius: Massage Therapist / Sports Therapist

£12000 - £24000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A opportunity has arisen for a ...

Ashdown Group: Practice Accountant - Bournemouth - £38,000

£32000 - £38000 per annum: Ashdown Group: A successful accountancy practice in...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Errors & Omissions: A widow’s tale with an unexpected twist

John Rentoul
 

For all his faults, Russell Brand is utterly sincere, something politicians should emulate

Janet Street-Porter
Election 2015: How many of the Government's coalition agreement promises have been kept?

Promises, promises

But how many coalition agreement pledges have been kept?
The Gaza fisherman who built his own reef - and was shot dead there by an Israeli gunboat

The death of a Gaza fisherman

He built his own reef, and was fatally shot there by an Israeli gunboat
Saudi Arabia's airstrikes in Yemen are fuelling the Gulf's fire

Saudi airstrikes are fuelling the Gulf's fire

Arab intervention in Yemen risks entrenching Sunni-Shia divide and handing a victory to Isis, says Patrick Cockburn
Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction shows the perils of fame in the age of social media

The only direction Zayn could go

We wince at the anguish of One Direction's fans, but Malik's departure shows the perils of fame in the age of social media
Young Magician of the Year 2015: Meet the schoolgirl from Newcastle who has her heart set on being the competition's first female winner

Spells like teen spirit

A 16-year-old from Newcastle has set her heart on being the first female to win Young Magician of the Year. Jonathan Owen meets her
Jonathan Anderson: If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

British designer Jonathan Anderson is putting his stamp on venerable house Loewe
Number plates scheme could provide a licence to offend in the land of the free

Licence to offend in the land of the free

Cash-strapped states have hit on a way of making money out of drivers that may be in collision with the First Amendment, says Rupert Cornwell
From farm to fork: Meet the Cornish fishermen, vegetable-growers and butchers causing a stir in London's top restaurants

From farm to fork in Cornwall

One man is bringing together Cornwall's most accomplished growers, fishermen and butchers with London's best chefs to put the finest, freshest produce on the plates of some of the country’s best restaurants
Robert Parker interview: The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes

Robert Parker interview

The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes
Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

We exaggerate regional traits and turn them into jokes - and those on the receiving end are in on it too, says DJ Taylor
How to make your own Easter egg: Willie Harcourt-Cooze shares his chocolate recipes

How to make your own Easter egg

Willie Harcourt-Cooze talks about his love affair with 'cacao' - and creates an Easter egg especially for The Independent on Sunday
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef declares barbecue season open with his twist on a tradtional Easter Sunday lamb lunch

Bill Granger's twist on Easter Sunday lunch

Next weekend, our chef plans to return to his Aussie roots by firing up the barbecue
Joe Marler: 'It's the way I think the game should be played'

Joe Marler: 'It's the way I think the game should be played'

The England prop relives the highs and lows of last Saturday's remarkable afternoon of Six Nations rugby
Cricket World Cup 2015: Has the success of the tournament spelt the end for Test matches?

Cricket World Cup 2015

Has the success of the tournament spelt the end for Test matches?
The Last Word: Justin Gatlin knows the price of everything, the value of nothing

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Justin Gatlin knows the price of everything, the value of nothing