true gripes bare feet

Share
Related Topics
It's true that there are real-life foot fetishists, but they mercifully know how to toe the line on secrecy. On the whole, more people loathe feet than like them, probably because nasty, smelly things tend to happen down there. Feet are utterly repulsive and we should be grateful that the things are stuck on the furthest extremity of the body where they can hum away, happily distant from the more delicate sense organs.

Unfortunately, photographers and editors have a love/love relationship with exposed feet and the things are everywhere you look these days. Granted, models have always gone for that Sandie Shaw look, as though being able to afford a designer suit means you have to look down-at-heel. But naked tootsies are definitely on the increase, as exemplified by the recent TV advert for children's shoes involving pre-pubescent feet looking, it has to be admitted, far happier out of their leather shrouds than in.

Actors, ever keen to bare their soles, have also got in on the act and it's now regulation interview practice for them to whip their socks off for the camera, in order to illustrate their life story/latest movie with a bit of gratuitous ground- level nudity.

And now, horror, Independent columnists have joined in this feet of endurance, showing off their literary genius by miming a trip to the seaside. But will the chance to scrutinise their corns and bunions really add to our enjoyment of their writing talents? Of course not. We do not need this kind of trendy, in-yer-face nudism over our cornflakes. Going barefoot outside the privacy of your own home is absolutely unnatural: if God had wanted us to be born naked below the ankle, he'd never have invented Dolcis.

What people fail to realise is that shoes are the best indicators of character. How would we know we'd encountered Essex Girl, for instance, if it wasn't for her white stilettos with that little bow on her blistered ankle? Or how could we tell that the smoothie on the doorstep is a salesman if we're denied a peek at his tassel-topped slip-ons?

Bare feet should be left in the foot-spa where they belong. The world would be a better place if everyone could emulate the sensible Jo Brand and keep their Docs and socks on.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Energy Markets Analyst

£400000 Per Annum: The Green Recruitment Company: Job Title: Energy Markets An...

Junior Web Analyst – West Sussex – Up to £35k DOE

£30000 - £35000 Per Annum Plus excellent benefits: Clearwater People Solutions...

Nursery Manager

£22000 - £23000 per annum: Randstad Education Bristol: We are currently recrui...

Web Analyst – Permanent – Up to £40k - London

£35000 - £40000 Per Annum: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: We are currently r...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Letter from the Personal Finance Editor: Cutting out the middle man could spell disaster for employees and consumers alike

Simon Read
Bono and Apple CEO Tim Cook announced U2's surprise new album at the iPhone 6 launch  

Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes tell you what to think. Don't let them

Memphis Barker
Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
How to make a Lego masterpiece

How to make a Lego masterpiece

Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam
'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

Exclusive extract from Janis Winehouse's poignant new memoir
Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

The Imitation Game, film review
England and Roy Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption in Basel

England and Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption

Welbeck double puts England on the road to Euro 2016
Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Pictures removed from public view as courts decide ownership
‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

Donatella Versace at New York Fashion Week